Get Over it

Here’s an article I wrote for our Batch website about unrequited love. (Go visit !)

Do you know what I find completely hilarious about the whole unrequited love thing? It’s the way people deal with it. Everybody has their own way of coping with rejection, but some ways are just unbelievably dumb. You’d think a college sophomore would know better, but a surprising number of them still act like a bunch of sixth graders when it comes to the love department. I think that’s really funny.

Now, I’m no love guru, but let me break down the whole unrequited love process and tell you exactly why certain actions go way past laughable and become annoying. Romantic love begins with attraction, be it one-sided or mutual. We are all human, but the ironic thing is that nobody gets attracted to somebody “flawed”, unless you’re a moron. The common response is for the Attractor to think that the Attractee is the ultimate embodiment of perfection and godhood, to that point that even his/her flaws look cute on him/her. The sick part is that people have a strange inferiority complex that states that they are scum, imperfect and flawed. Placed beside someone they consider to be Godlike in nature, they are left with little to feel but a wretched sense of inadequacy.

At this point, some attractors already accept that rejection is inevitable and so decide to hide or attempt to kill their feelings for a number of reasons. A common reason is that they don’t want to ruin the friendship they already have with the Attractee. They continue to spend time with the Attractee, or admire the Attractee from afar, with their feelings all corked up inside. If you can’t even be honest about what you feel for a person, you have absolutely no right to trod on the same concrete your Attractee walks on. Next to love, honesty is an important component in any healthy relationship, romantic or friendly.

Should you gather up the guts to tell them and it happens that it comes out that they don’t feel the same way, it’s likely that relations between you and the Attractee will become strained and awkward. But how sure are you that this will happen? Not to get your hopes up, but there’s always a possibility of his/her reciprocating. In any case, the only way for you to know for sure is by confessing and getting it out of your chest. But should you decide to put on a farce, have some consideration for your Attractee and avoid telling the entire world but him/her about the nature of your “love”. Of all people who deserve to know what’s going on in your spineless little heart, it’s the Attractee.

Let’s say you chose to tell the Attractee about what you feel and it does turn it that they don’t feel the same way. Yay. You’ve now been promoted from slug to Unrequited Lover. Aw damn. The Attractee then says that he/she wants to remain friends with you, in spite of what just happened. That’s bullshit for the most part. Things are never going to be the same between you and the Attractee once your secret is out. Would you honestly want to remain friends with a disgusting individual who just confessed his or her love for you? (This is of course, working from the idea that you do believe that you’re insignificant toilet scum.)

Well, that’s how the Attractee probably feels towards you. But this is where stupidity comes in. I don’t know what makes people come to the conclusion that if they become their Attractee’s personal bitches, maybe the Attractee will grow to love them for being the doormats they are. But hey-who’s stopping you? Go ahead and write love letters for him because he doesn’t have enough IQ to come up with his own bullshit for his Attractee. Feel free to stay up until dawn editing her ten-page paper. You’re too stupid to realize that the only things you’ll get out of this whole mess are unbecoming eyebags and more bullets to your heart, anyway.

If you told your Atracttee how you feel, get promoted from Attractor to Unrequited Lover, then choose to cast yourself into the murky waters of the Marikina River, then you are a coward and an idiot. I’d go to your funeral just to laugh at you, but you aren’t even worth that.

Talk about rubbing salt into your wounds. I don’t blame you for getting pissed off if you think that I’ve just described you in the paragraphs above. But you have to admit that the methods I mentioned aren’t the smartest ways to deal with unrequited love. A more respectable way of picking up the pieces of your broken heart and dignity is to buy a pack of tissues, sob on your bed or your best friend’s shoulder for a reasonable amount of time (nothing longer than 24 hours), sing along with the saddest songs you know, then get over it. How? Unless you’re completely sure you no longer have feelings for the Attractee, go out of your way to avoid him/her. Keep yourself occupied by investing in a hobby or something. Remove yourself from the mindset that your Attractee is someone you’ll always love. Someday you’ll fall for another person’s vibrant personality or cute smile. And when this happens, try not to screw things up for yourself by repeating the mistakes you’ve made in the past.