It’s the animal instinct

I want a baby. Funny how I should think this way when I don’t even like kids in the first place, the way they’re always screaming and running around the place, or rotting in front of TVs and their Gameboy Advance. But I want a baby. Not right now of course, but sometime in the future, whether or not I get married to anyone.

I felt this when I walked into this baby store at Rockwell to buy a present for a cousin who was being baptized that morning. Cribs, walkers, teethers, blankets, bottles, toys everywhere. The amount of baby paraphernalia available is amazing. My mom said that when I was born, she had to get her baby stuff from the States, and they weren’t even as nice as the ones they had in that store. I even saw the cutest rocking horse, complete with fur, reins, and everything. And I wished I had a son, daughter, or baby sister or brother I could buy that rocking horse for. Or a crib to decorate with pink or blue blankets or a room to fill up with toys. It’s a total bummer that my mom can’t have kids anymore. If I had another brother or sister, s/he’d be damn spoiled by me. I’d get him/her clothes or toys with my spare money and bring home candy every weekend, on the condition s/he they doesn’t spend too much time in front of the TV. And when s/he grows up I’ll treat him/her like a friend and impart what little knowledge I have about life and not dictate what to do or not to do. That’s my mother’s job.

Of course, I know that raising a child isn’t as easy as I’m making it out to be. But yeah. I want kids.

It’s just me and the open road

While I was on my way to school from home this morning, I finally felt the need to learn how to drive.

You see, my mom doesn’t want me to stay at Katipunan next schoolyear because for all she knows I could be dealing weed or whoring myself to every guy I see in between classes. She thinks that I’m a delinquent like that. At first I fought hard to stay in a condo, but I easily lost because she pays for the rent so it’s pretty much her call. After that, I lobbied hard for my own room, a battle which ended in defeat as well. So I’ve finally resigned myself to the fact that what used to be a ten minute sprint from my bed to the classroom will soon be a one hour excursion.

It’s not that I don’t like staying at home or being around my family–I do. It’s the going home or going to school that’s a problem. While I don’t really mind commuting every once in a while, I don’t think I’m up for doing it everyday. I was told there was a carpool that goes to my village, but then that would mean I’d be waking up at 7 a.m. everyday. And then I’d have to undergo an extra hour of socializing during the journey back home. And I’m not anti-social or anything, but after a long day at school, I usually prefer to stay quiet and not feel like I need to talk or be talked to by anyone.

Learning how to drive and getting my own car was a thought that never occurred to me until now. It’s perfect: I can still get the alone time I want, be with my family, and retain some level of independence. Unlike a carpool, I won’t have a schedule that dictates when I should get home or when I should go to school. I’m sure I could negotiate with my parents as to which is a reasonable time to go home and which isn’t. So I asked my mom for driving lessons and she said yes, we could probably still afford them. Then I asked her about getting a car too and she said that if I have enough money, why not? I don’t have enough in the bank for a secondhand car right now, but I think I’m about halfway there. Give me a few more months, and I promise by then I’ll be driving my own transpo.

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