2003 in a nutshell

* found out that the love of my life is gay. I cried for several hours. And then I got over it.
* joined my batchmates in forming a protest rally to make our corrupt nun principal resign from her post. Classes were called off and the whole school was in chaos. That was probably the only worthwhile school event I ever attended.
* felt infatuation in its purest form. Unfortunately, things started getting weird between the two of us. It took me one week to get over him. After that I never gave him a second thought.
* got accepted by Ateneo, La Salle, and UA&P.
* got rejected by UP, Wesleyan University, and Sarah Lawrence College (my dream school).
* decided to go to Ateneo because of the pretty campus.
* turned seventeen.
* graduated from high school. No honors or special recognition whatsoever. I didnt bother sticking around after I got my diploma. I felt like there was no need to say goodbye to anyone since I’m not going abroad and I’ll most likely run into the rest of my batchmates at Glorietta anyway.
* fell in love with a boy, which was shocking because after the gay thing happened, I felt like I would never fall in love with anyone ever again. I was in a state of pure bliss for about 8 months.
* spent my entire summer staying at home and being in love. I did go to Baguio and the beach for a few days, though.
* got my very own computer
* was too shy to talk to anyone during the OrSem. After three whole days of group dynamics, I made a grand total of…two new friends.
* said goodbye to Chris, my closest friend, who now goes to school at Boston University.
* made it to Guidon Web (alt+G).
* learned how to wash dishes and make dinner out of canned food
* made my roommates hate me when they accidentally saw this entry I wrote in my website about how noisy they are and how crappy their music is. I learned another important lesson from the experience: be careful of what you write, especially on the Internet. Always lock incrimminating entries.
* spent most of my first semester studying and basically being a good student.
* got an A in an academic subject for the first time since grade one.
* realized that the quiet and mysterious approach only works for girls who are drop-dead gorgeous and that I won’t meet any people by being so…quiet and mysterious. It took great effort and I don’t know how I managed it, but I slowly came out of my shell and befriended by blockmates and their friends.
* managed to establish my own circle of friends whom I love very much.
* realized that it’s true. It is a small world after all.
* learned how to play bass guitar
* fell out of love and ended my second serious relationship. I’m still trying to process my feelings about that.
* discovered and fell in love with filmmaking.
* realized that not going to parties every weekend does not make me a loser.
* stood by my grandfather’s deathbed. That was the second time I saw someone die.
* felt infatuation in its purest form. Unfortunately, my feelings were not reciprocated. This time, getting over him took me five days. I still think of him every now and then.
* thought I was already grown up and ready to conquer the world, but I obviously am not. Who am I kidding? In spite of all the stuff I’ve gone through during the last 12 months, I still don’t know jack shit about life. I still made the same mistakes and I haven’t conquered my weaknesses yet (impatience, lack of discipline, etc. etc.). And inasmuch as I’d like to think that I’m already in a real world, all the stuff I’m exposed to right now is probably just the tip of the proverbial iceberg. But I won’t rush it. I’ll just let nature and time take its course with me. And next year, hopefully, my experiences will help shape me into someone wiser, who won’t make mistakes, who’ll do the right thing.

Merry Christmas everyone!

It’s funny. Yesterday was probably the day I got the most number of text messages at one time. I’m not a cell phone person to begin with. I know that a social life in Metro Manila is impossible without a cellphone, and I love how it comes in handy when I have to locate my friends, or plan last-minute movie trips or house raids with them. But that’s about it. If I’m not looking for my friends, or if my friends or my mom aren’t looking for me, I can go for as long as a week without even glancing at the damn thing. I don’t look for textmates, I don’t send out cheesy inspirational quotes, graphics, or chain letters that promise divine intervention or true love if I pass it on to a certain number of people. During breaks, when everyone else is pretty much doing their own thing, I can go for as long as three days without getting a single text message from anyone. Which is why I don’t even bother checking my cellphone when school’s out.

Last night, I thought I’d say “Merry Christmas” to a few friends. I haven’t looked at my cellphone since the previous night and it took me a while to locate the damn thing, which was buried somewhere below all the crap I dump on my bean bag. When I unlocked the keypad, my eyes widened and I was like, “Holy crap! 35 new messages!” From 30 or so different people, some of whom rarely ever text me. Whoa. What’s more, I kept on getting messages up until way past midnight. I grew kind of lazy to send replies to the people who sent me greetings, and kept putting it off until around midnight. But by the time the clock struck twelve, I had a hard time sending messages to anyone. So it’s true–the network really does get busy with everyone wishing everyone else Merry Christmas and all. As my irrtation grew with every “message sending failed”, something occured to me. What use will a cellphone have during a huge calamity like, let’s say, the end of the world? There are so many people I’d like to say my last goodbyes to but I won’t be able to because network will be busy with everyone will be saying their last goodbyes to everyone. And if you can’t even contact your loved ones when you want to, where you want to, then that defeats the entire purpose of having a cellphone.

Christmas day was decent. My cousins came over and we pretty much spent the entire day eating, opening presents, and hanging out. (View Daily Grind/Photolog). I got a lot of cool stuff from my family and friends–thank you. Now my cousins are gone and I am now facing a pretty big dilemma: what to do during the next five days. Our film project was moved to the summer because our lovely director will be at Batangas until the New Year. This leaves me with absolutely no plans until the 30th, and it annoys me because I was counting on doing something productive. It looks like I’ll be living the life of a bum again because these are the only things I can think of doing. I could call up my high school friends and have lunch and a movie with them, call up my friends in the village and hang out at their place, or go to Makati Cinema Square for video games and secondhand book and spend those five days just escaping from reality. I don’t mind escapism and I don’t mind seeing my friends again. But…argh. I hate feeling like I’m useless.

Old friends and cancelled plans

I love it when the things I least expect happen to me (good things, that is). I was hanging out at Kayelle’s house early this afternoon when I got an SMS from someone. “The king has returned!” it said. Puzzled, I looked at the sender, and when I saw a name I haven’t seen in my message inbox since August, I let out a tiny shriek. Chris is back from Boston! =D

We SMSed each other for a while, and I asked him if he had any plans for tomorrow because I have an extra ticket to the premiere of Return of the King. I didn’t think that he could make it though, since he just arrived and all. It turned out I was right; his dad wants him to be with his family and it looks like I won’t be seeing him till January because they’re going to Bangkok until the New Year. The good news is that Chris will be having the car until he leaves for Boston, which makes planning gimmicks a whole lot easier since the transportation problem is solved. Yay!

I just got off the phone with him and it’s funny how it feels like we had our last conversation just last week. Aside from the fact that the stories he tells me are completely different from mine, it’s like he never left at all. His accent didn’t even change; he still speaks the way most guys from Xavier do except that he uses less Tagalog and more English this time. Chris told me how he can tell which of his friends from here are for real because they’re the ones who still kept in touch with him. I’m really glad that our friendship is still intact even if we don’t get to talk or e-mail each other as often as we’d like. I can’t wait to hang out with him again! But with Christmas just a couple of days away, I think phone calls will do for now.

In other news, my friends and I were supposed to make an indie film over the break but it looks like we’ll have to postpone it till the summer because our director, Kayelle, will be at Batangas during our shoot dates. Boo. To think that I was really looking forward to it. I guess that leaves me with nothing to do during the days between Christmas and New Year. I suppose I could use those days to work off the calories from the delicious Christmas dinner we’ll be having. Gotta greet the New Year looking fabulous!