Well I suppose that’s why it’s called a “crush”
In other news, I’m crushing again and it sucks. I’m not sure if I talked about him in this journal, but in case I haven’t, let me introduce you to my current object of infatuation–Hot Chinese Guy. He’s this really cute, half-Chinese, half-something else guy in my math class with a really buff body and a killer smile. Actually, “cute” is too weak to use to describe him. I’m telling you, he is seriously hot, gorgeous, hunky. He is as good-looking as a model, maybe even hotter. But I really hope he doesn’t become a model because I don’t want those silly Candy, teenage-wannabe girls to wallpaper their bedrooms with magazine cutouts of him. Yes, even with my crushes, I am a very selfish person.
Another thing I like about Hot Chinese Guy is that he keeps a low profile–I rarely see him around campus–which means I probably have less competition. Gorgeous, hot hunk, you are miiiiiiiine (and nobody had better come up telling me that you’re gay).
The thing I hate about having crushes on guys that are waaay out of my league (then again, my crushes are always way out of my league) is that I feel like I’m a chameleon to them–nobody special, just somebody who blends in with the background. I’m not sure if I want Hot Chinese Guy to like me. I guess I just want him to realize that I’m alive, that I’m more than just some girl in his math class. I sorta had an opportunity to talk to him today, when he parked his bag right next to mine during the math long test, and of course I blew it.
I have this weird, stalkerish way of staring at my object of infatuation when they’re in the room, and before the math test I watched him go over to where the bags are. When I saw where he placed his bag, my jaw dropped and I was like (in my head, of course), “Oh. My. God. He did not just put his bag next to mine…did he? He could’ve placed it on that empty chair beside my bag, but noooo. He put it right beside mine!! His bag is touching my bag and they will be touching each other for the next hour and a half!! OMG OMG OMG OMG.” Pathetic, I know. But let me remind you that I came from an all-girls Catholic school and when it comes to dealing with guys that I like, a 12-year old girl would probably do better than me.
After the math test, we were standing beside each other while we arranged the stuff in our bags. He was standing thisclose to me. I could’ve asked him about what he thought of the test, but it’s not like me to strike up conversations with people I don’t know–especially if they’re hot, half-Chinese, half-something else. Still, I left the room with this ridiculous smile plastered on my face.
It’s a little sad because whether or not I pass or fail Math 11, Hot Chinese Guy and I won’t be in the same class next semester anymore. 
He’s a management major so he’ll be taking up a higher math (Math 19, I think). I have two weeks to get to know Hot Chinese Guy, but knowing myself I’ll probably just stand silently if I ever have another opportunity to talk to him. I’m seventeen years old and I can’t even talk to the guy I like. God, I feel like such a loser.
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21 Responses to “Well I suppose that’s why it’s called a “crush””
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hahaha!
go talk to him, lauren. nothing to lose.
It doesn’t get any easier at age 21
Yeah, just go talk to him Lauryn… Just brace yourself for it! Maybe think of something that is interesting and talk!
omg lauren! i feel the same way toward guys.. and there are millions of smart, hunky, hot guys in school that i’ve been crushing on! and the thought of me not being able to see them next sem breaks my heart. weird! haha
Hot Chinese guy, could be a model. Do all girls think the hot guys are always the nice guy that will treat a girl right. Just like a guy thinking all the hot “bay watch” girls are the perfect girls.
Don’t go by just looks, go talk to the guy for gods sake to see if it’s all good. Before class ask him what he thinks of the professor.
if you can’t say a word, just give him a bright smile.. or say i hope i passed! i dunno… just flash a smile and give him something to remember… don’t ever think cute guys are beyond your league.. they’re insecure ppl kaya! and if they’re yabang, you can always roll your eyes… =) no sweat… it’s all harmless fun as long as you don’t put meaning into everything… now, start smiling! =)
Hahaha! I know exactly what you mean! :heart: Crushes are health hazards I tell you (especially if it’s a crush on a guy whose smile can make you light-headed and jittery)!
The guys sounds good
But I thought Jason was your boyfriend? I’m a bit confused now. 
Jason’s my boyfriend, but that doesn’t mean i can’t get shallow crushes on other guys. Hot Chinese Guy is just a crush–nothing more.
If it were only that easy… :sigh:
For all I know he’s probably a jerk, but it’s not like I think he’s my new soulmate or anything like that. Oh well..
Some people say I have a nice smile but next to him I feel like a little worm. I mean, he has the kind of smile you see in those toothpaste commercials. Ahhh!!!
If only he would smile at me…I swear, I would faint. :sigh:
really funny
hope you will finally get to know him .. 2 weeks is kinda tough.. but waddaheck.. just go for it 
lauren, i’m 32 years old, and looking back when i was your age, i wish i had the audacity to speak to all my crushes. now, all i can do is remember with regret (sigh) that i passed up so many opportunities to get to know those special someones whose mere gaze tore my world apart. oh well. so what are you waiting for? Go! carpe diem…carpe noctem!
hey Lauren, :sigh: i totally understand wat u mean. i alwayz feel inferior/small/watever when i’m near my crushes so i dun dare to talk to them..and i juz keep thinkin dat other prettier gals wld be aft them and they wld prolly not be interested in me..but dat doesn’t mean i’m not lookin forward to my Thurs class when i can gaze at my crush!
half-Chinese half-something else..
hahahahaha! i was having a bad day, but that cute description just made me laugh. thanks for the uplift!
I mean that literally though…I think he might be half Caucasian or something though I’m not really sure. ^_^
Uy, nag-comment rin sya! Hehehe.
ur ryt. f he’s hot, he IS way out of ur league. nd i bet he has a gorgeous girlfriend alrdy.
I’ve stopped crushing. Since this evening. It’s official.
sorry, I know I’m an outsider, but I felt like writing this. Damn… if I were in u’re position, I’d talk to him. Not that it works, most of the guys I’ve had crushes on, recently I just started talking to them, and the sexy voice I’m confronted with together with the wonderful character and the oh-so-gorgeous smile flashed do nothing but intensify the crush. But still, a gorgeus smile can do wonders for a shit ass day!! :heart: