Summer dies and so could I

Because I have such perfect timing, I finally decided to go to the mall buy myself one of those cute colorful two-piece swimsuits. Right now, of all times, just when summer is about to come to a close. I put off buying one for as long as I could because I couldn’t find a pair that had boy shorts. But I failed to think that if it was harder to find the swimsuit that I like in the middle of the summer, it would be harder to find one at the end of the summer when nobody sells swimsuits anymore. Eventually I found one at NafNaf that was surprisingly flattering on my suddenly bloated figure. In under one hour too!

It’s raining tonight, and it better not be raining on Tuesday too! We’re still going to Punta Fuego in spite of the weather, but how can I go swimming on the beach when it’s raining? I can probably still hit the beach, but it won’t be as fun without the sun out. I think I will like Punta Fuego a lot. My dad says the whole place smells like saltwater, and I think that’s what made me look forward to going there. Put me any place where I can smell the saltwater, hear the the waves crashing against the rocks, and feel the sand beneath my toes, and I will be happy for the rest of my life.

Just checked the weather. Thunderstorms until Wednesday. Crap.

I found out who my roommates are. Apparently, two of them are gonna take up Political Science and the other one is gonna take up Legal Management. I almost ended up taking up Political Science, but I switched to Social Sciences because it is more multidisciplinary than PolSci and I think I would like it better. You know, I am very nervous about going to college. Just thinking about it makes the butterflies in my stomach flutter around like crazy and the bile surge up my esophagus. I really don’t understand how I could be dreading something I have been looking forward to for the past two years. One of the many things I am worrying about is that I might end up being one of the dumbest people in Ateneo. I feel like my high school education was far from enough, and that my admission was just a mistake. I still find it hard to believe that I made it in there when I couldn’t even make it to the top ten of my class. And that’s not even because my school has really high standards. I guess I’m just really bad at memorizing facts and figures.

But whatever…I really hope things work out well. According to the tarot reading my dad got, college will turn out to be a positive experience for me. That reading had better be accurate!

Still considering the possibility of going to a US college. Apparently, my aunt and uncle are more than willing to help me out! We are talking about it now. Aww, yeah. Wish me luck…

When will all the eating stop?

After tonight, I realized something. There are so many gay people right now that it’s very hard to tell who’s gay and who’s not. I remember when a friend of mine was talking about how his roommate and he just had a fight, and I suddenly asked, “Hey. Are you and JR together?” And he laughed really hard and said no. I felt like an idiot for asking such a ridiculous question, but thank God he didn’t take it the wrong way. But you can’t blame me; I have never come across a guy who keeps telling me about how he and his roommate are always arguing, so it made me wonder.

Tonight, my sister and I were introduced to two really good-looking guys (a Chinese guy and a Spanish guy) who were really friendly and well-mannered, and did I mention that they were really good-looking? But when we found out from a reliable source that the Chinese guy is gay, we were like, “Noooooooo!” Not to his face, of course. But talk about extremely disappointing! The Spanish guy’s sexuality isn’t confirmed yet, but we could kinda tell that he’s gay from his mannerisms and because he was prettier than us. Now I’m not homophobic or anything, but I guess if I were still single I would’ve felt even more jaded about “finding true love”. I mean, with everyone being gay now, wouldn’t it be harder to find your soulmate? Unless you yourself are gay too.

I wonder if being straight will be like, an obsolete thing several years from now. I don’t know. I can’t imagine myself being with a girl; it’s really not me. *sigh* I’m just glad that I fell love with a straight guy this time. It’s funny; it only took me one whole day of crying to get over him. And after that day it was like, I never really gave him a second thought anymore. So maybe I do think of him sometimes but I don’t wish that things could have turned out differently, or that we could’ve somehow ended up being together. And then for some reason, talking to him and being with him no longer feels as important as it did before. I still keep in touch with him, of course, but I don’t yearn for him anymore. I guess the number of years you’ve been in love with a person is not a good determinant of whether or not he is your true love. Oh well. I hope he finds his boy. Really. I hope he does.

Calories are a girl’s best enemy

I would highly recommend badminton to anyone who wants to lose some weight over the summer. Today I played a game against my cousins and I am happy to report that I lost an impressive amount of calories from running around, brushing the hair away from my eyes, and picking up the birdie. It’s utterly amazing how terrible I can be at that sport! In my opinion, I’d rather not know how to play a sport than be a lousy player. But in this case, I really have no choice because I am in dire need of exercise and badminton is the only sport I can play decently. Yes, decently. So since this is my best, I’d really hate to see my worst.

I didn’t even want to play at first, because I could see that everyone else in the badminton courts were these hardcore badminton players. But since nobody I knew was around, I felt more at ease about making a complete idiot out of myself. I took the freaking plunge.

During my brief stint with the high school glee club, a friend of mine complained about how Tracy, Alys and Kaye always got to sing solos while the rest of us were virtually ignored by the asshole choir master. I replied to her dryly, “Well if we’re going to be the glee club’s ‘back-up singers’, we might as well be damn cute back-up singers!” This afternoon, my motto was, “If I am going to be a lousy badminton player, I might as well be a cute lousy badminton player!” I suppose I might have had some amount of cuteness in my all-blue outfit and my blue and white Nike sneakers. But of course, all that cuteness immediately vanished like wisps of smoke the moment I grabbed my racket and set a sneakered foot on the court.

I love watching people play badminton. Girls in particular. Not because I am a pervy bisexual chick (which I am not :P), but because they look so graceful when they play, as though they are dancing. They would do all these complicated-looking shots with the least about of effort and running around, which impressed me a lot. One of the badminton girls had rebonded hair that she didn’t tie up, and I stared at her enviously as she played. In spite of all the running around that she did, not a single strand of hair in her head went out of place. Whereas my carefully made ponytail was already falling apart fifteen minutes into the game. But I digress.

There really is nothing graceful about me when I play badminton. Today I kept fumbling for the freaking birdie, especially whenever Cristopher would smash it to my side of the court, and I would miss the easiest shots. If you’ve never played badminton in your life, you’d probably think that it is just all about whacking the birdie to the other side of the court. I wish it were just as easy as that. I have a suspicion that Cris only tolerates my lousy playing because he is using me as his badminton dummy. You know, someone that he could practice doing his fancy moves on. Every once in a while I would get lucky and manage a tricky shot or two, which was of course countered by Cris with a shot ten times trickier as the one I just did.

I was tempted many times to throw the racket to the floor and scream, “I QUIT!!!” But for some reason, I kept on playing. I don’t know why. Maybe deep down inside, I’m still hoping that if I keep on practicing I will become a good badminton player someday. Mostly though, I think I played on because I was having fun. Really. It’s fun playing with Cris and Anthony. They never make me feel bad about being such a lousy player. But if they did though, I probably would’ve quit.

My cousins and I stopped by a McDonalds afterwards where we gawked at a girl my sister recognized from long ago, and where I ate a quarter pounder, a LARGE coke, and a sundae cone. So much for all the calories I just lost.