I can’t stand this soap opera existence
Music: Heaven - DJ Sammy & Yanou
I’m in a lousy mood right now. Worried about my relationship, mostly, and other things too. Last night was my aunt’s 40th birthday and we were supposed to have dinner at her house. But my dad had to work, and for some reason he got really pissed at me, my mom and my sis for wanting to go there without him. He was so mad that we ended up sleeping at my aunt’s. I had fun hanging out with my cousins again, even though we just saw each other a couple of hours ago. But of course I couldn’t full enjoy because at the back of my mind I was worried about all the drama that will ensue the moment we all see each other at home. To my relief, he was already at work when we arrived this morning. And I feel kinda bad for saying this but right now I’m kind of hoping that my dad won’t get home until really late tonight, when I’m asleep. It’s funny, to be afraid of your own dad. Don’t get me wrong; he’s a good guy. He’s never hit me or anything like that. It’s just that he has the most terrible temper in the world. I don’t like being at home when he’s in one of those moods.
I’m worried about my gimmicks this week. I don’t think it would be advisable for me to go out because I’ll have to ask for my dad’s permission for that, and I’m worried he will blow up at me if I do. I don’t want to hear his usual tirade about how he is so unappreciated even though he works so hard, how I never do anything except go out (he hasn’t said that yet but I’m sure he will, even though it’s an exaggeration because I rarely ever go out these days), how he wants to kill himself, etc. etc. I’m afraid he will start guilt-tripping and that I will fall for it, because I am such a huge sucker for these things. I always feel guilty for whatever happens to people even though it isn’t my fault. It sucks.
I need to get out of here. They had better not start classes on September.
Still bummed over the fact that Chris is going to Boston in August. He got accepted into Boston University and even though I am really happy for him, part of me still wishes that he doesn’t have to go. He’s one of the few friends I really hold close to my heart and I will really miss him when he goes. It’s not like I’ll never see him again though. I mean, he’s coming back for Christmas and every summer. But it still won’t be the same without him around. *sigh*
To top it all off, this song is making me cry. Sucks to everything else.
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5 Responses to “I can’t stand this soap opera existence”
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i know EXACTLY what you mean..my mom has the worst temper as well-she doesn’t let a day go without yelling i swear!.
are they thinking of moving the classes from september to june there? that’s what my cousins keep telling me, but i always thought they were just joking.
woops, url is wrong up there.
and also, i wanted to add, my mom used to do the same guilt-tripping thing to me. hopefully it’s a phase that your dad will get past. it’s stress, and depression, probably. my mom would always say things implying she didn’t want to live anymore, and all her efforts were worthless. it’s hard to listen to. maybe in a few years, it’ll be different.
[...] out my relationship, mostly, and other things too. read more? lauryn @ 10:56 pm [...]
How would your dad react if you bought him a present to cheer him up? Something small, just to show you care, like a box of chocolates hand delivered with a nice card to his workplace (giving a gift in front of his friends would give him ‘face’).