I’m jaded again, but in a different way this time

I love this song. ^_^ For some reason it reminds me of coconut trees and the ocean, and it makes me miss the beach very much. Apparently we are no longer going to La Union on the 8th, but according to my dad we will be going to this scuba resort at Batangas on the 30th. Sana naman matuloy na yan! I want to walk on some sand and smell the saltwater and get really, really dark.

You know, it’s true. You really can’t have everything. This summer I found love, and even if Jason lives halfway around the world, it’s still love no matter how you look at it. It’s been a long, long time since I was last this happy and it’s a good feeling.

But then…where the hell did all my “friends” go? We haven’t seen each other since we went to Maricris’ birthday and when I try to get us all together again, they keep making excuses. No money, no transpo, blahblahblah. No effort. It sucks how we seem to not want anything to do with each other anymore, now that we’re out of high school. Oh well, shit happens. People drift apart.

But if you ask me, I would rather be in a happy relationship than have all the “friends” in the world. It’s been tried and tested since junior year and although I always clung to the hope that maybe things would get better and the bonds between us would become stronger, it’s all been for nothing. Now, I’ve finally learned to accept the fact that I cannot rely on my “friends”. I’ve come to the conclusion that friendship is shit.

Don’t get me wrong. I still intend to make “friends” in college. I cannot live without going out, after all. But I think I shouldn’t take friendship so seriously anymore. Sure, we can party. Sure, I will listen to all your problems. But even you see, if I did all these things for my friends and spent so much time with them, it still felt like our friendship was just for show. There wasn’t any love between us. If there was any, I probably missed it. Or maybe it just came at a point in my life where I was already too numb to feel much of anything good.

All right, enough whining.

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