Who’d have thought I’d still have some teenage angst left in me?
I am completely horrified at the fact that my social life is coming to a complete standstill. Stephen is going to Baguio this weekend; therefore we won’t be seeing each other on Saturday. I guess I can go out with Chris, but he’ll want to bring his other friends along so I’m not sure about that. I asked Angelica if she wanted to catch a movie with me, but she still hasn’t replied to my text message. Denilou is at Tagaytay, Kriya is at the States, I forgot to get Bea’s number, Aiza is too ditzy, Glyka is always broke, and I would rather be stuck at home than call Michelle up. This leaves me with…..absolutely nothing to do until the 8th.
My social skills are rapidly deteriorating. I hate how I mutate into a sucky version of myself around people I don’t know well. I am very worried that I won’t make any friends in college. I wouldn’t stress over this so much if any of my friends were also going to Ateneo, but everyone’s at La Salle or UST so I’m really in this thing alone. Jason once told me that I worry too much over what other people think of me, and I think he might be right. Yeah, he’s definitely right. I guess the best thing I should do is be myself; that way people will like me for me. But it’s scaring me how I don’t know who I really am anymore. I used to be so headstrong about my principles in life. I used to tune out other people’s opinions about me. Whatever happened to that now?
My mom constantly tells me that I’m a lot like my grandma, and I think that is one of the worst things I could ever be. She’s nice, but sometimes it’s all a front you know? Now that I think of it, I realize that I am a lot like her. I’m a hypocrite. I’m overly sensitive. I worry too much about what people think. I always say yes even when I mean no.
And I hate who I’ve become. I don’t mean my grandma, but me. I really do.
*angst*
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4 Responses to “Who’d have thought I’d still have some teenage angst left in me?”
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[...] version of myself around people I don’t know well.[read more?] lauryn @ 09:22 am [...]
True, a bunch of my close friends are going to DLSU or UST..almost half of them, one third of them are in ADMU, I’m thankful for that.
Know what? Sometimes you really have to make an image of yourself. This is reality and people won’t accept who you are if you’re not like them. That sucks, cause you blend into something that’s normal and all too the same. But once they get to know you better, I think that’s the time you should let them see who you really are.
It’s all about doing things at the right time and adjusting to things that are more ‘you’ when the right moment comes…Does that make sense? Hehe. 
Um Laur? Where do I login? I’m quite clueless. I’ve never used a live journal before… *sheepish*
Okay… First, go to http://www.livejournal.com/create.bml. Then place the code I sent you. Afterwards, you will be told to create a username and password, and then place your e-mail address. Then an e-mail will be sent to you for you to activate your LJ. Click the link on the e-mail, and then login using the username that you created. And then you’re set! ^_^ From there you can edit your user profile, modify your journal, add friends to your list, etc.