All you need to be happy is to be with someone who understands you

I went to Ateneo this evening to watch Victor’s play and I just got home. Actually it was more of an interpretative dance and it was quite…strange. For a moment there I was worried that I had been hanging out way too much with shallow people because I couldn’t understand most of the dances. I just couldn’t see the point of all that squirming all over the floor, and what the gestures meant. The opening number and the finale were easy to understand though..but maybe I’m just biased because Victor was in them. Hehe. He’s a very good performer. For the finale, he had to dress up like this total geek and win this girl’s heart–which he eventually does in the end. He had to do this really silly dance and I was very impressed. Maybe I’m just way too worried about what people will think of me, but I don’t think that I will ever have the guts to let loose of my inhibitions and just act freely onstage like that. I can be so pa-cute sometimes. I hate it.

It felt good to hang out with Victor again. My best friend/soulmate. In terms of personality, we’re practically carbon copies except I like keeping up appearances and I’m very reserved to the point of…I dunno, stiffness. We went outside after the opening act to look at the stars, but it was an overcast night and we didn’t see any. Damn. I made him a burned copy of Sarah Maclachlan’s Mirrorball and he really liked it. I love being able to guess other people’s musical tastes. I bought Mirrorball around four years ago, and although I listen to it a lot I’m still not tired of it. If I were a lesbian or a guy, I’d probably be in love or very obssessed with Sarah Maclachlan. But I’m not…so I guess I just really admire her very much.

I can’t believe that in just a few months’ time, I’m gonna be going to Ateneo everyday. Sometimes it feels like I’m going to be stuck at Sta. Rosa forever. I love the campus, it’s sooo nice and peaceful. It’s like you can walk around by yourself at night without having to worry about some psycho dragging you off to a dark place and raping you. My dad’s a little worried that I might turn into a conyo there though, but I highly doubt that. Even though I do hang out with conyos sometimes I have no desire to be like them at all. Safe and sound in their plush little worlds, indifferent to the struggles of the masses. Ugh. I would like to get along with all kinds of people, but it can be hard because I’ve assimilated so many traits from other people I’ve been with that sometimes I don’t know what I am. I’m not cool enough to be a conyo, but neither am I jologs enough to be…well, jologs. *sigh* Here comes the old fear again of not finding any friends in college.

Hmm. I need to call Chris up. I haven’t talked to him since Valentine’s Day.