It’s easier not to be sincere somehow

I heard this song (If You’re Not the One - Daniel Bedingfield) over the radio, and although it’s the kind of song that becomes very annoying when it’s overplayed I like it a lot. Now if I were in a more sentimental mood, I would say that the reason why I’m listening to this song is because I can relate to the lyrics. Actually I can relate to them a little, but I’m not so affected by the unfortunate events of my love life anymore. I’m just listening to this song because it sounds nice.

It’s funny because a long time ago, I swore to stop listening to Magic 89.9. Not because I was turning back into to my snotty, “non-conforming” self, but because the DJs talk too fucking much. It’s like, I want to hear music while I go to school, not toilet jokes or cheery, chipper voices so early in the damn morning.

Sister My had a talk with the seniors this afternoon to “clarify things”. I think that the real reason why she wanted to have a “dialogue” with us was so she could twist things around and make us side with her. I sure was right. We were supposed to ask her whatever we wanted, but none of our questions were really answered. She kept beating around the proverbial bush so many times that our heads spun and we ended up forgetting what the question asked was really about.

And the more she talked, the more I got pissed because everything she was saying was complete bullshit. She kept acting like she was the victim and that she was totally innocent of everything that she was accused of. She even said, “Why should I resign? There’s no reason for me to.” Grrr… Since I couldn’t stand it anymore, I actually stood up and asked a couple of questions and made some comments. But because the blood was rushing into my head and I was getting so mad, I couldn’t think straight. And so my questions came out sounding so weird. They made sense, yeah, but for some reason they sounded a whole lot better when I was formulating them in my head.

What pissed me off even more was when Sister My said that we shouldn’t trouble ourslves with knowing problems of the administration because we’re minors and that we wouldn’t understand them. What the fuck does she think we are, kindergarteners?! Some of us are already eighteen, for crying out loud. Does she really think we’re very stupid and feeble-minded? And then she kept saying something that went like, “Remember that students have their own roles, teachers have their own roles, the administration has their own roles, and parents have their own roles.” After Sister said it for like the third or fourth time, my hand suddenly shot up. She acknowledged my raised hand.

“Sister, what exactly do you mean when you say that students have their own roles?” I asked.

Apparently, my question must have sounded really weird to everyone because quite a number of people laughed. Sister My did too. Not really in a mean way…more like in an amused way I guess.

“Why…students have to study of course! Tell me, what do you think students are supposed to do?”

At that point I was starting to feel like an idiot. “Well, students are supposed to study. I’m aware of that. But with the way you kept saying that students have their own roles, you implied that students have no business being involved with the problems of the administration and the school. Which isn’t right, because this is our school too, and whatever problems the administration is having affects the students in some way.”

Sister My couldn’t find anything to say back to me, not really anyway. She said some stuff, but I was too infuriated to listen. In a way, I was glad I made my point across, but it really bothered me when everyone laughed. I know they didn’t mean anything malicious by it, but I felt like I was entertainment of the day or something. I felt kind of better when several people complimented me afterwards, something I didn’t expect at all. That made me feel a whole lot better; I guess that means I didn’t make a fool out of myself after all. But I just wish my batchmates would stop finding the way I talk so amusing.

Anyway, the entire talk was a total waste of time. I certainly do hope Sister My gets what she deserves during the PTA meeting tomorrow. That bitch had better resign before I graduate.