Of attempted suicides and hair waxing

Today was definitely one of the more interesting school days I’ve had. At lunchtime a junior girl named Tetet tried to kill herself. And if I weren’t able to convince Angelica to hang out upstairs, I might’ve missed the entire thing. I don’t really know the entire story, but Tetet’s girlfriend is my batchmate Chen. They had a serious, dramatic, public fight, and then after that Chen broke up with her. Tetet got down on her knees, tugged on Chen’s skirts, and begged to give her one more chance. When Chen refused, she ran into her classroom, grabbed a cutter, and in spite of the crowd surrounding her and her friends who were trying to stop her, slashed one of her wrists in one single motion. It must’ve been a very deep cut, because there was blood everywhere. Tetet was rushed off to the hospital, her entire class was sent home after the incident, and my classmates were joking about a sacrificial lamb for our class so we’d all get sent home too.

I suppose I should feel sorry for Tetet, but I don’t. I think that what she did was very stupid. She obviously just slashed her wrist to get attention, or to make Chen really feel guilty for breaking up with her. I mean, what kind of person commits suicide in front of a crowd? She obviously just wanted to be in the spotlight. I heard from someone that she really has some sort of borderline disorder or something. Wonder what will happen to her after today. Chen’s obviously in big trouble because the teachers know the reason why Tetet slashed her wrist. And mutualism (same sex relationships) is a big no-no in my strict, Catholic school.

Hmm, now that kind of reminds me of the time Alex cut herself with a pair of scissors in front of me, Stephen and Chris a couple of years ago. She was depressed for some reason, and we went to her place to cheer her up. When we entered her room it was really dark, but you could still see that she was sitting on her bed topless. We were silent for several minutes; I guess we couldn’t think of anything to say. And then she started cutting her arm with the scissors. Not very deep cuts, just shallow ones. And I was quite shocked because I was only thirteen, and it was the first time I’ve ever seen somebody’s naked breasts other than mine.

Speaking of self-mutilation, I just discovered a healthy way to inflict pain on yourself in order to get your mind off things. It’s actually something only girls do. Guys can too I guess, but I’m sure ya’ll would rather do something more macho. Like beat up walls or people or something. So what am I getting at here? I’m taking about leg hair waxing. Yep. There are two ways you can do that: either you do it yourself with a waxing kit, or you have it done at the salon. The intensity of the pain is more or less the same, but I prefer doing it myself because pulling the wax strips off with my own hands feels more fulfilling.

The best thing I like about waxing–other than smooth, satiny feeling of my legs–is the knowledge that the tears springing into my eyes is caused by something else other than whatever I am stressing over at the moment. And the entire process is actually very symbolic. I like to think of the hair on my legs as the problem or person that’s been bothering me. And with one angry jerk of the wax strip–it’s gone. Sort of.

Yes, I’m weird, I know. But it’s not something I’d expect everyone to understand. Now if you’ll excuse me, my underarm hair wants waxing.

Remember that “vision” I had yesterday? I think I might know who that could be. Or I could be wrong…