Everyday I go to school and study humans

Ahh, this is my song for the moment. This was the obscure punk rock song I heard a couple of weeks ago (although obscure music connoiseurs might not think that The Suicide Machines are all that obscure). Can relate to the lyrics, but it’s not at all depressing. In fact, it’s the kind of music that would be playing in the background whilst I jump on a bed that was big and bouncy enough for that. Punk rock kicks ass. That is, if The Suicide Machines are even punk. I swear, some people take it as a personal insult you call something “punk” even though they think that it’s not. Which is really dumb because punk isn’t about the Chuck Taylor shoes, or the red plaid pants, or the dyed hair. It’s about being yourself–and I mean really yourself. If there’s anything I learned during my short-lived punk phase, it’s that philosophy. I know I was really nothing more than a total poseur back then, but hey, at least I learned something.

A couple of days ago, I took this online quiz called “Which Kind Of Typical High School Character From A Movie Are You“. Guess who I was? Daria! Which was kind of funny because that’s what my barkada used to call me, back during the time when we were still a real barkada. Actually it was Michelle who started it because she said I looked like Daria (glasses and bangs, ugh) but minus the sarcasm and cynicism. Now that I come to think of it, I dunno if she meant to compliment or insult me. Cos even though I think Daria is cool, she’s a little too…pessimistic. Like how does that girl have any fun?

Well the reason why I’m still thinking about that quiz is because the description below the picture hit me harder than I thought. “You are the typical feminist, depressed, artist. You go against the crowd and do everything you can to be different. Too bad no one notices. Try communicating with people, not just looking down on them.” I was really surprised when I saw that–it’s me, all right. (I hate it how people always stereotype artists or writers as “depressed”, though. I may be many things, but I don’t think I’m “depressed”.) Particularly the last line. I swear, the person who made that quiz must have known me or something. Even if I don’t make it known to anyone, I do look down on a lot of people at school. I don’t exactly think that I’m high and mighty and all that, but a girl needs some sort of defense mechanism after all. Maybe I should try to be more friendly. There are actually a lot of people in my class who I think are pretty cool. But after five years of practically ignoring everyone, I don’t know how I can build relationships with any of them anymore. I particularly feel very awkward around those batchmates who don’t really know me. Even if they kind of try to be friendly and nice sometimes, I feel like they’re still laughing inwardly at my “conyo” English or something.

Just realized something. My birthday might fall on a school day! Well not exactly a school day, but on a graduation practice day. The thing I like most about being born on March 25 is not having to go through a school day with no one remembering that it’s your birthday. But it looks like that won’t be happening this year, though. Grrr.

Promise not to forget this day
Do you feel like this, do you feel this way?
Do you have to leave, or can I make you stay?
Say this feeling won’t fade away
And I’ll promise not to forget this day