I wish I could feel nothing

February 9th, 2003 with 275 views

For the first time this weekend, I finally got around to doing school stuff today. Sometimes I hate Sundays cos except for when I go to my cousin’s place, I never really do anything interesting or exciting.

So out of boredom I decided to watch TV, and stumbled upon an episode of Exposed on Studio 23. I don’t really watch Exposed because I think it’s a tad too scandalous for me, but since I had nothing better to do I kept on watching. Apparently they were doing a Valentine’s Day special or something called Surprise Wedding. They choose five girls who have boyfriends who are terrified of commitment, and then without their boyfriends knowing it, they prepare for their wedding for a week. And on the seventh day, they ask their boyfriends to marry them now, like on stage, in front of the entire world. I felt like puking right then and there, it was all so stupid. I mean if your boyfriend doesn’t really want to get married in the first place, then there’s no point in forcing him to. All the girls were really excited about their gowns and stuff, and they were very confident about the entire thing. And I didn’t get to see what the boyfriends decided because it’s a two-part thing, but I’ve got this feeling that at least one of them will say no. Or maybe all the boyfriends will say yes because they don’t want to humiliate their girlfriends on national television, and then file for a divorce a month later. For a guy who is afraid of a serious commitment like that, a surprise wedding is a nasty shock. I dunno..I found the whole thing really pathetic and sad. Like how desperate can you become to get married?

I need something to cheer me up; watching that show was a little depressing. Kind of like the time I found out that two of my friends are in love with each other. I know I should be happy that they have love lives and all, and in a way I kind of am. But mostly it made me feel even more miserable about my now completely loveless status. You know I totally disagree with Shakespeare, because it is not better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all. What’s better about loving and then getting your heart broken? I don’t get it.

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7 Responses to “I wish I could feel nothing”

BLOGGED ---at the-protagonist.net on February 9, 2003 05:01 pm
[...] nd then getting your heart broken? I don’t get it.[read more?] lauryn @ 06:00 am [...]
Kat on February 10, 2003 01:14 am
I wouldn’t worry about finding love.. i’m loveless too.. Exposed sounds like an insult to relationships.
Kat2 on February 10, 2003 04:35 am
I can imagine about what you say. I’m also in a (rather too long) loveless period myself. When I had love and then lost it, it did feel terrible. But what’s even worse is to know what love is and not having it (I enjoyed it for months and months though)!

And for kat…my name is Kat too…lol!
kychie on February 10, 2003 06:28 am
look at the deeper meaning. isn’t it better to have at least experienced love for a moment, than never experience the feeling of being in love at all? take care
nikkiana on February 10, 2003 08:02 am
Ugh. I hate shows like that. Too bad American television is loaded with crap like that.
aaron on February 11, 2003 09:13 am
crap, hell of a crap!
Perry on June 7, 2004 02:55 pm
Trust me - take it from someone with the years of experience behind the. Love, true love rarely comes, and it must be savored and respected for the time it is there. Shakespeare was DEFINITELY right… “To give it all you’ve got no holding back, put a light in your heart because it is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all…”. You never know for how long love (or the one you love) will be around. Go for the gusto. It hurts for a while when you lose. It hurts for a lifetime if you know you never tried.