It might be the end of the world as we know it

Summer’s near. Even if it’s only January I can tell that it’s near because it’s already mosquito season. Slowly but surely, those damned bloodsuckers are multiplying and feeding off their favorite human–me. As of now, I’ve got three or four bites on one (rather flabby) thigh alone. They look so swollen and pink and good to scratchw, which is why I’ve got small yet numerous coin-shaped scars on my legs. So much for wearing a two-piece in public.

Seriously…I’ve got to go to the beach this summer. My mom and my aunts are going to Cebu for a week sometime in April to get their stuff from their childhood home because they’re selling the house to someone. While they pack their ancient, moldy things into cardboard boxes, I will be frolicking around the sand and in the water with my cousins all day long. I guess I’m more of a beach person than a mountain person. Even if it is hot in the beach, at least there aren’t any bugs around. And since I *might* be going to college in New York, I’d better get darker skin. My natural tan will surely fade from being away from the sun for so long. I would hate for that to happen. I love my skin color–not too pale, but not too dark either. And it’s even all over; no tan lines or anything like that. I suppose that’s what I’ll miss in the States–the sun. And my skin color.

Maybe I should stay here.

I spent a good part of the afternoon brooding about the imminence of war and maybe even the end of the world. I find it so annoying how just when I’m finally done with worrying over college, I’ve got this more serious problem to worry about. (See, that’s why I hate current events.) It’s for purely selfish reasons why I don’t want a war to happen. I’m sure everyone feels the same way too. I mean, I want to live my life to the fullest and die a peaceful death when I’m a little old lady. It depressed me because I suddenly realized how damn pointless everything is. I mean, if there will be a war, then all the effort I put into essays and school was for nothing because we’re all going to die anyway. And what’s a high school education good for if we’re just going to get caught in the crossfire or have our drinking water contaminated with some bacteria that can cause a horrible, slow-killing disease? I swear to God if that happens to me, I’m going to kill myself. Seriously. I don’t want to get my internal organs eaten up and sores to grow all over my body and live in agony and pain for hours and days and weeks. I want to die within a minute. Nothing more than that. I’m not even gonna wait for a cure or anything, because everyone I know will probably be dead by then and I don’t want to be the only one alive or anything. I’d probably end up committing suicide anyway.

Stupid USA and stupid Sadam Hussein and stupid world.