I don’t wanna die, but I’m not keen on living either
Report cards were given this afternoon and although my ranking is lower than usual I was so relieved to see that my grades have either improved drastically or stayed the same. They’re still painfully above-average, though. I shouldn’t have slacked off during my first grading period! I bet if I studied a bit more, I would have gotten better grades this quarter because my school follows a cumulative grading system. But oh well, I’ve got two more grading periods to improve myself.
Shit, two more quarters. I still find it hard to believe I’ll be graduating from high school in just a matter of months. In spite of all my complaints about being so sheltered in my small, conservative school, I’m really not sure if I’m ready to face the real world at all. My biggest fear is finding out that I didn’t make it to any of the schools I applied to, and ending up going to Assumption or something. Imagine–college high school style, complete with uniforms and nuns! *shudder* How could I have squandered away my opportunities to get really high grades in high school? I hate the kind of student I’ve become. I know I’m not an idiot, I really do. When I was four years old, I took an entrance test for first grade (meant for 6 year olds) by mistake and passed it. By then I could already play complicated pieces on the piano as well. But look. Twelve years later, I have become an average student who puts everything off until the very last minute and who also gets a grade of 83 in English because I always screw up during the periodical exam. Shit. What’s to become of my future if I end up going to a lousy college? I’d rather die. I mean, what’s the point of living a life of a mindless consumer and accomplishing nothing?
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10 Responses to “I don’t wanna die, but I’m not keen on living either”
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[...] omplicated pieces on the piano as well. But look. [read more?] lauryn @ 06:54 amComments ( [...]
first grade test?
I was supposed to take Kinder 1 exams at St. Pauls College Pasig and the test proctor misread my test permit as Grade 1. In that school, the levels are Kinder 1 (4 years old), Kinder 2 (5 years old), Prep (6 years old) then Grade 1 (7 years old). I actually passed their Grade 1 test.
I can relate to what you’re saying about being really smart at a young age and then comparing it to the level you’re at now. I screw up my tests by making silly mistakes and I am the biggest procrastinator in the world. Life’s not fair.
Err ok. I came across this site from a forum sig and….you need to open your eyes. You have not even started to live yet. I am 21 and work i couldn’t go to college right out of school. My grades sucked Because like you i put things off. Or i did. Now i have an ok job and good friends. And just because you do not go to a “good” college or a college at all does not mean you will acomplish nothing. It only means you will follow a different path. No offence to anyone really but being down about things like this is a waste of time. all you need to do in Life is remember one simple word that will get you throuhg any problem, challange, etc. FOCUS
just focus on it and then take action. You can’t do everything at once i learne the hard way. You just end up in a bigger hole. anyways i have babbled long enough. Sorry if I disturbed your pity wallowing but life is to short to feel sorry for your self. I had a friend that died in a car wreck this past weekend i attending the funeral yesterday the 29th. my sister almost died in the same accident. they are both 23. SO like i said its too short.
sorry not yesterday the day before and its though and learned in the typos not thouhg and learne lol. Thats for anyone that was going to say ah well thats why you didn’t go to college. and once again ITS TOO SHORT. and some other things to remember. KINDNESS IS CATCHING, FOCUS, THATS LIFE! GET USED TO IT. The last one is harsh and should never be used when speaking with children. So you can deciede if you are old enough to except it. I think you are. But when you are my age which is not far off you will look back and say…….WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING. (^_^) have a happy! (
AHHHHHH through not though lol wooooooo
i need to sleep.lol
your grades are “still painfully above-average”? uh typo? hhmm..confuse here..
Dont diss the mindless consumer
I know how you feel, I am the exact same way about my grades. I just finished my first semester at college and I found it to be pretty easy. If your really worried just do as I do, study all summer.