I just got here and I already want to leave

Somehow I ended up going to Don Bosco Mandaluyong with Dina, Trina and Nikki after school today, but I wish I went shopping with my sister instead, like I promised her. The only reason why I decided to go to Don BOsco at the last minute was because Glaiza and Maricris said they’d drop by after they went to De La Salle. And since Dina sorta promised that Matthew would be hanging out with us, I didn’t want to miss this chance to get to know him. But of course, things don’t turn out the way we think they would. The guys hardly paid any attention to Trina, Nikki and I, and spent most of their time talking to Dina. She’s like, one of the guys, and I guess I understand why they feel more comfortable around her. I didn’t really mind that they pretty much ignored our presence, but I wish they exerted a little more effort trying to talk to us. It certainly would’ve made things more lively. I dunno…I hate making the first move on a guy, specially if he’s the kind of guy I’m not comfortable hanging out with. And I’m certainly not comfortable hanging out with Bosconians. They’re quite nice, and they can be funny sometimes, but we don’t have much in common. They aren’t exactly the kind of guys I’d be hanging out with unless I have to, like in an interaction organized by the school for example. If they weren’t Dina’s friends I bet I would’ve made a lot of snide remarks about them. Yes, I know, I’m a snob. It’s something I’m not proud of but I guess it’s just the way I am. But believe me when I say that there are a lot of girls in Makati who are a hundred times even snobbier than I am.

Anyway, I didn’t even see Matthew. I actually caught a glimpse of him when he passed by the classroom I was hanging out in, but when I ran outside he wasn’t there anymore. Nikki and I decided that we had enough; we were dying of boredom and ready to fall asleep. At around three-thirty, we took a cab to Glorietta. Nikki fell asleep almost as soon as we got in the taxi, and I was starting to nod off too. There are a lot of urban legends about taxi drivers putting some sort of sleeping gas in their cabs when they have a lone female passenger, and when the poor girl falls asleep the driver parks in a secluded place and rapes her. I was half-worried that that might be the case but I didn’t give a damn; my eyelids were so heavy. I didn’t realize it but I leaned on the door and started dozing off. I was at the point of falling asleep when my mom called me on my cell phone to ask me where I was. Thank God. I was wide awake after that, but Nikki still slept on. Since today is a Friday, there are a lot of cars on the road and it took us almost an hour to get to Makati. We paid eighty-five pesos for the ride, which I think is a little too much. But what do I know, I rarely ride taxis. Anyway, we had no choice but to pay the fare, but I felt really relieved to get out of there. Aside from the fact that I was a little worried about getting raped, my eardrums felt like they were going to explode if I heard another song by the Sexbomb Girls.

In order to cheer myself up from the disappointment of a not-so-good afternoon, I went to Tower Records to buy myself a Phantom Planet CD (The Guest). Imagine my disgust and disappointment when I learned that Tower Records doesn’t carry Phantom Planet CDs! I always thought that they had everything. What an outrage. I thought of looking for it at another music store, but then I like buying at Tower Records because I get a free copy of the latest issue of PULP! for every CD that I buy. Makes the four hundred pesos I have to pay really worth it. *sigh* I suppose I’ll just have to order The Guest over the Internet or something.

All it takes is a mistake to eat your words

Listening to: Goodbye To You - Michelle Branch

Talk about major PMS. I was in a rather foul mood most of the day. I snapped at anyone who tried to talk to me while I wrote my notes, I wouldn’t help anyone during Computer class, and I got into an argument with Angelica about whether or not supermarkets washed their Romanian lettuce before selling them or putting them on display. It was supposed to be one of those lighthearted arguments, but Angelica said I looked rather pissed. Well. It annoyed me that she wouldn’t believe me when I said that there is no way supermarkets would sell wormy lettuce to anyone. I guess I find it hard to keep calm when I’m in an argument or debate. I don’t exactly lose my temper, but I become rather irritated when I argue with someone.

I decided not to go to Don Bosco with Dina tomorrow. I know I kind of promised her but I’m not really feeling up to it and besides, I hardly know anyone there. I’d probably spend the entire afternoon dying of boredom, smiling at what everyone else is saying but not talking to anyone in particular. I don’t think my presence will be missed by them very much. I have Cue rehearsals the next day anyway, and I don’t want to overwork myself. With my Tita Lorna staying here this weekend and all, I don’t think I’ll have much time for schoolwork either so I guess I’ll just do everything I have to do tomorrow.

Thank God Tracy hasn’t been attending Cue rehearsals either. I’m really worried that the gays might single me out for public humiliation on Saturday because I don’t know the choreography and the music yet. I have nothing against gays, but theater-type gays really make me nervous. Believe me, you do not want to get on their bad side. They can be even bitchier than women with PMS, if that’s even possible. And I don’t like being shouted at, specially in front of other people. So you can just imagine my apprehension. *sigh* Hopefully, nothing like that will happen to me on Friday. I’m joining Cue for fun, not so I can add another item on my list of traumatic things that happened to me in high school.

I cannot believe that the Ateneo Blue Eagles won in the game against the La Salle Green Archers today! Just this Monday, two of my classmates passed around this piece of paper where you could bet twenty pesos on which team you think will win. I placed my bet under the Blue Eagles. All my friends thought that I’d lose since the Green Archers have only lost one game so far. I argued that at least Ateneo was the only university that beat them. For some reason though, I had a feeling that the Blue Eagles would win this game. And I was right! See that’s the problem with my friends. They never believe what I tell them.

I’m a regular retro kid

I had to have a 2×2 picture taken for my de La Salle University application form this afternoon. I think that I’m quite photogenic–I mean, I know how to pose and that the right side of my face looks better than my left. But for some reason, I always end up looking so horrible in those instant photos. Like in that picture I had taken today: my smile looked so fake and plastered on, and in spite of the face powder I applied my skin still looked oily. I wanted to have it redone but you have to be in the mood for those things, and today I was like, “Whatever. Screw the La Sallites if they don’t accept me on account of my looks.” I don’t really want to go to La Salle anyway, but they have Japanese Studies which I want to take up. Makes me feel closer to Makoto-kun. ^_^

I know that my Graduation Ball is still months away, but I’m already planning what I’m going to wear. While everyone will probably sport the typical satin, beaded gown, I’m going to go to the Ball wearing something completely different. I don’t know if I have the confidence to do this, but I’ll be going in a fifties-style gown. As in, the kind with the sorta fluffy skirt that ends a couple of inches below the knee. Naturally I will have it made at Angelica’s mom’s dress shop, and I’ll have my hair done the way they did in the 50s. I can already picture the weird looks everyone will give me. Those “Huh?” expressions on their faces. Hehehe, I can’t wait. Retro clothes can be cool sometimes, but I think it’s weird how guys used to dress up in flared jeans before. I saw some pictures of my uncles when they were teenagers, wearing those ridiculous flared pants with matching tops and Elvis Presley hair. Now that looks really gross.

My Tita Lorna is coming tomorrow from San Francisco, and she has books for me though I stupidly forgot to tell her to buy me a paper journal. Oh well. Tita Lorna is one of the coolest adults I know because she’s this really talkative, lively person. Ever since I started puberty, she always talked to me as though I were an adult, or at least mature enough to understand certain things. None of that “You’re too young for this” crap. I hate it when adults think that I’m dumb or something, just because I’m young. But since I’m sixteen now, nobody treats me that way anymore. Thank God. In fact, I find it easier to get along to people in their twenties than people my age. But I don’t hang out with yuppies all the time because it makes me feel too out-of-place. So I end up going back to my friends just the same.