Damn all these games I have to play
Listening to: Caught In The Sun by Course of Nature
My sister’s gonna be gone until Friday because of her sophomore year retreat. That means two whole days of having my room to myself. Oh yeah! ^_^ Not that I resent her being there, because it’s actually quite good to have someone to talk to at night when we both can’t fall asleep. But sometimes I can’t stand the way she suddenly bangs open the door just when everything’s already nice and quiet, or how she bugs me to close the lamp when I’m still reading. I like my privacy, I guess.
Sometimes I worry that I may grow up to be a recluse because although I have an okay number of friends, I’d rather be by myself most of the time. Maybe I got too used to all those years in grade school when I didn’t really have anyone to talk to. Maybe the only person I can talk to is myself. Which can get kind of lonely sometimes, but I guess I’m used to it since I do it a lot. It’s hard to find friends I can really open up to these days. Sometimes I feel that they still can’t accept me for who I am. I mean, my barkada gave me all these weird looks when I told them that I wanted a tattoo. I felt like a crimminal or a delinquent the moment I said that. That’s the problem with having conservative friends; they can be so closed-minded sometimes, and I don’t think they understand my need to be different. Or why I do the things I do. Naturally, they tried to change my mind which pissed me off a little. I wish they would stop doing that, because this is who I am. Do they really think that I can change just because they want me to? No bleeding way. And besides, I’m totally sure about my decision. My tattoo’s gonna be hidden anyway so if I don’t like it, I can always cover it up.
I’m gonna be dismissed at 2 p.m. tomorrow for some reason. Yay! But for once I don’t think I’m going out after school. I don’t think there are any good movies showing now, and besides I’m kind of saving money.
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2 Responses to “Damn all these games I have to play”
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i know how you feel about wanting a tattoo. i want one too.. in the same place, or maybe on the back of my neck or something
don’t worry about your friends. you’ll meet a lot of people in college, those who are open to anything and everything, and who’ll take you for who you are.
Yeah, i think I’ll grow up to be a recluse, actually I’m a recluse now. I like my solitude alot. I think it’s just a difficult social position i’m in now, maybe winds will change for both of us and we’ll be less reclusive with friends who are more open minded or whatnot. I’ll reply to your email sometime tonight or tomorrow, I’ve been busy with projects. Ciao bella!