My inspiration has run dry
School is soooo stressful. I’ve got a Physics unit test tomorrow worth 150 points, and I need to make candy flowers for my Home Economics project by Friday. You know, it’s funny. I’ve always liked eating those candy flowers in birthday cakes but after almost a month of making them I am so sick and tired of it. Raw eggs and confectionaire’s sugar. How did I ever like that stuff? Ick. A lot of the things I learn in Home Ecs. are so useless. What am I learning how to make candy flowers for, when I can just easily buy a cake with candy flowers in them already? I just can predict the projects I’m probably supposed to do during the next quarters: knitting, crochet and sewing. It’s tough being a girl sometimes.
I feel so uninspired to write these days, unless I’m ranting about something. I haven’t even written anything for Screeve (the school paper) yet, unless you count the Classification of Filipino Teenage Guys which I intend to submit. I’m worried that a lot of people might get pissed at me for what I wrote in there, but hey–it’s the truth. Some people just hate it when someone shoves the truth right up their asses. If you were a Filipino guy and you read that, would you get mad at me? If you are a girl who has a Filipino boyfriend and you read that, would you get mad at me as well? (Comments would be much appreciated.)
Since I am part of the literary department, I’m supposed to write a short story or a poem for Screeve. But the latest short story I wrote is ten pages long, and I’m not even done yet. It involves me having an out-of-body experience and going to my crush’s school and spying on him the whole day. Somehow, the longer I make it, the more I didn’t know what would happen next. So I abandoned it. 
I don’t mind writing, but I always have the same subject matter. In a lot of the short stories I’ve written the past couple of months (most of which end up in the garbage), it was either about the protagonist killing herself, or a friend/relative of the protagonist who committed suicide. I’m not saying that I have plans of killing myself or anything, but suicide is such an easy topic to write about for me. Then gets too morbid so I stop. I wrote another suicide story during the screening of the school paper and surprisingly, I got accepted. Well. Maybe I’m good at writing about suicide, but I want something else. I’ve tried writing about love, but it ended up sounding like those trashy romance novels you can buy at National Bookstore for twenty pesos apiece. Not good. I’ve got some subject matters in mind but if I end up writing a story about them, 80% of it would probably be censored which doesn’t leave much of a story to be published. Ahhh! I gotta think of something fast, my deadline’s in two weeks.
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9 Responses to “My inspiration has run dry”
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Knitting is cool though Lauryn, really! I have phases where I knit a wool jacket in one week. LOL
So cool. hehe Julia Roberts is mad knitter too by the way. 
Knitting, Crocheting and sewing can come in really handy sometimes… making candy flowers… that I’m not so sure of.
how cute! your so naive and ignorant! considering that you have yet to mingle with classier crowds (povedans, assumptionists, ateneans etc.) and have been stuck with only your schoolmates for comparison you can be ‘forgiven’, but once you do i think you’ll find that you are sadly mistaken about this little list, and in fact, about everything that you think. newsflash sweetie, your school is the one considered ‘jologs’ by the other schools. it is the one that people are threatened to be sent to if they dont do well in their current school. it is the unknown school that no reputable guys school save don bosco would even think of mingling with. it contains the type of people that get noses turned up at them because of the way they act and talk. you may think your special because you speak english, but here’s a little hint, maybe you’re special in your school, but speaking english means nothing to the crowd that already does. so sue me if im being tactless but its the truth and your going to have to learn it sooner or later.
about your list, I don’t necessarily agree with your description of the conio and good boy guys. conio guys don’t say stuff like “Yo nigga! check out my wheels” nor do they go around wearing imitation designer duds and huge (fake) gold and silver necklaces. if they do, then they’re not conio– they’re just jologs-slash-posers.
now, about that comment above^^^^^… sorry, but i think i have to agree with that. i dunno what school you come from but I’ve been reading this journal long enough to know what your classmates/schoolmates are like (based from what you write about them), and I do think that they *are* a bit crass. as for the rest of amanda’s comment above^^^^^… i agree with those too. Sorry.
I like the article. Very entertaining…
it defines them almost perfectly. argh, nakakainis yung mga mayabang. they think they’re so freaking cool. 
i despise posh shrews like amanda above
dont worry lauren. the only people who appreciate her are the few who are like her. you aren’t 
it never fails to amaze me why people who are “supposed” to be the “educated” ones (by virtue of attending elite and expensive schools turn out as the most tactless bigots of all.
Can’t they just thank their own gods for the blessings that they have and stop putting down the “less fortunate” ones?
What’s your “class” going to do with you if you’re grossly miseducated? What a waste. Good education and “breeding” thrown out of the window. Sad to say it’s very common among the so-called “upper crust” of society.
the way I see it, Amanda wished she was you. Her comments about you and your school and everything else makes me say that she was jealous of your writing abilites and good brain.She I’ve been reading your journal since way back protagonist days and I think you’re so gifted at writing and just about everything you say has a ring of truth in it though sometimes as you put and said it’s “grossly exaggerated”. I hope you take notice of this because I’ve been a “Fan” of yours since I came across your website. Your very first website. And it’s not even The Protagonist one ^_^. Just incase you’re wondering,I’m a Filipino too.
Hey! You’re really good at writing. I hate home economics too… its kinda really useless!