All this is fine, even if it crashes down on me

Senior year equals stress! My teachers are so mean. They gave us a lot of homework and projects to do, knowing very well that we have to devote time to studying for the UPCAT this weekend. The whole lot of them can go to hell for all I care! They’re being very inconsiderate, and refused to give us extensions even though we asked them to. Patsy told us to have our moms ask the school if the seniors can have Friday off so that we can study for the UPCAT. I hope a lot of moms do that, because the principal is an ultimate sucker for parents’ requests. Most of the time she finds it hard to say no to them, and when a lot complain she’s bound to listen to them for sure. I hope she agress to let us skip school on Friday! I’ve got a unit test in Math.

Aside from Math, Calculus, Chemistry, Trigonometry, Physics and Home Economics, another one of my least favorite subjects in school is P.E. What a loathsome class! I don’t know why I have to take it because I hate all sports aside from the recreational ones that I play, and why in the world do I have to learn ballroom dances when I’ve never even been to a ball before? I particularly depsise P.E. during the first quarter because every year we have to undergo this stupid thing callled the Philippine Physical Fitness Test (PPFT). Year after year, we go through grueling numbers of sit-ups, push-ups, long jumps, and all sorts of running tests. And year after year I keep getting the same scores–average, barely passing and failing. Especially under those running tests. Ugh!

What the hell is that stupid-ass PPFT for anyway? I’ve been taking it for four years, and never have I discovered the “hidden athlete” in me. My least favorite item under the PPFT is the ten-minute run. Ten awful minutes of running around the quadrangle under the heat of the sun. I always end up running about five laps, then sitting down the rest of the time. I thought ten minutes was bad. But since we’re seniors this year, we don’t do the ten-minute run. We have the fifteen-minute run instead. I was so pissed when I found that out, and grew even more so when I learned that it was my group’s turn to do the fifteen-minute run today. How unfair! My God. Can’t the PPFT people see that I am very athletically disadgantaged and that my chronological age won’t change that? Why do the seniors get extra five minutes? I was fuming at this injustice but no matter what I felt about it, I’d still have to run for fifteen minutes if I want to pass. And besides, I know what my P.E. teacher would tell me if I so much as complained to her. “You don’t want to run? Then don’t go to my class!” Ehh. So run I did.

In spite of the illegal, high carbohydrate breakfast of crackers I had during my previous class, I did not feel the least bit energized. Sure, I was running the first three laps at a slow and steady pace. It took me about two and a half minutes. Then I grew tired and ended up walking around the quadrangle most of the time. Whenever I felt my energy coming back I’d run again, but after one lap I’d become tired and go back to walking. It kind of bugged me how a lot of my classmates were just running and running, without stopping to walk or whatever. How do they do that? Am I really that physically unfit? Somehow I managed twelve laps; the passing score is ten, which made a bit glad because I always fail in the ten/fifteen-minute run. But mostly I was feeling drained, tired and extremely bitchy. I probably lost more than a hundred calories from all that running, but I sadly gained them all back during recess. I had pancit (fried noodles) for brunch, and I hadn’t realized how much oil they had put in it until I had completely emptied my plate. Horrified, I could see the remnants of the oil shining and glistening back at me on the plate’s silver surface, as though they were mocking me for my wrong choice of food. Suddenly, I felt the folds on my belly (bilbil) all too well.

And I was planning on wearing a strapless dress to Dona’s debut.

Would you be interested in dancing with me?

Woot! Senior year is a year full of formals, and I just got invited to my first debut today. A debut is a Filipino girl’s formal coming-of-age party, held when she turns eighteen. Early this evening, I was waiting for Angelica to call and immediately jumped up when I heard the phone rang. I have this weird habit of racing to the phone whenever it rings, even though I’m not really expecting a call. I just can’t stand hearing unanswered calls. Anyway, my sister got there first and she looked and me strangely and said, “It’s a girl with a small voice.” I shrugged; peoples’ voices sound different over the phone. But the voice sounded unfamiliar, and I was very surprised when I found out that the caller was Dona! I haven’t heard from her since I ran into her at the mall early this year. Dona is this girl who used to go to my school, but she was sick a lot so she decided to be homeschooled and take this program where she can graduate early. She’s been held back twice because of her absences, and she’s in college now. It was great to hear from her, but I was even more surprised to know that I got invited to her debut. Thing is, all her guests have to wear black because she’s wearing red and she wants to stand out.

I wasn’t too hot about the idea at first, because everyone wearing black at a debut? It kind of sounded like a funeral. Then when she told me that I’m part of the Eighteen Candles (whatever that is), the more it seemed like a funeral to me. But then I remembered that there was this episode of Friends where Rachel wore this simple, sleek, strapless black dress that ended a few inches below the knees (I think that was the episode where Monica announced her engagement). When I saw it, I was like, “I want a dress like that!” It’s simple, yet elegant-looking and now I have an excuse to finally have it made. And the great thing is, Angelica’s mom runs a dressmaking business so maybe I can get a discount since we’re friends. ^_^ Thinking about going to a debut is a lot less stressful than thinking about the prom. All I have to do is get dressed and show up. No need to worry about dates or whatever.

Don’t say this world is not so shallow

I spent some good bonding time with Michelle this afternoon. Although we used to be together all the time during freshman year, she’s the person I’m the least close to in my barkada right now because she’s always with Patsy or with people who are more like her. The high school department had a program in the auditorium during the afternoon to celebrate Nutrition Month–whatever for, I don’t know. But anyway, there was this beauty pagaent thing and every class had to have one representative go up the stage, promote a fruit or veggie, dance or sing, and make a complete idiot out of herself. Michelle and I spent a good part of the program laughing and making witty comments about the contestants. Okay, I know I always say how I hate it when people criticize others too much but come on. I can’t help it! What fun is it to be a girl if you can’t make fun of other people sometimes? At least I only do my criticizing in healthy amounts. If I was with any other girl, the whole program would’ve bored me to death because it was pointless and stupid. But since I was with Michelle, we just kept on making comment after comment until we were absolutely dying of laughter.

And just this morning, I was actually kind of annoyed at her because she told me she was also part of Cue. On the outside, I smiled and said, “Really? Cool!” On the inside, I was like, “Noooooo!!!!!” I wasn’t upset because she’s bad company or anything. But like she told Angelica before, we’re the exact opposites of each other. How the hell am I supposed to meet any guys–and get to know Reif, in particular–if they’re all gonna be looking at her? She’s not drop-dead gorgeous, but she’s bubbly, cheerful and talkative. I’m not any of those things, not to people I’m not comfortable with anyway. Though it’s a plus for me that I’m a lot better at dancing than she is (and I’m not even that good), guys usually notice Michelle before they notice me. I thought she told me she was in Cue because she wanted to compete against me. Just like when she ran for Science Club PRO (public relations officer) when she knew very well I was vying for that position. But after awhile, I realized how paranoid I was becoming and that if I’m not careful, I could develop an inferiority complex. I’m not jealous of her or anything, because she has a girlfriend and she mingles with Bosconians. But sometimes I find myself thinking that I wish I could be more like her.

Oh, and guess what? My school has a prom! It’s not a sure thing yet, but the parents brought it up at yesterday’s PTA meeting and since the principal pretty much does everything the parents asks her to…yay! ^_^ My friends and I all agreed that we won’t go stag since it’s our first and last prom. That actually came as a surprise to me because last year, we said we’d all go stag because we’d probably feel awkward around our dates. But since we’re all seniors now, what’s there to be shy about? Even Denilou, who is a lesbian, wants to bring a date with her. Which brought me to a quandary because I have absolutely no idea who to take to my prom! After a lot of agonizing and thinking, I came up with only two prospects. I can’t just take anyone to my prom because my date has to be mature and open-minded. There’s my batchmates to consider and should they act un-poised or something, I don’t want him to think that I’m anything like them. I’m asking my possible dates this weekend because knowing myself, once the excitement about the prom fades I’ll completely forget about my plans for my dress, makeup and date. If worse comes to worse and my prospects say no, I’m going to ask Amarant and if the bastard says no, Angelica says she’ll hook me up with her extremely hot half-Iranian friend. I’m not normally one for blind dates, but I trust in Angelica’s tastes for guys. Wow, I didn’t know thinking about the prom could be as stressful as thinking about Calculus.