There’s hopeless smiles brighter than mine
I wonder if there is such thing as post-menstrual syndrome because I seem to be behaving unusually moody and irritated lately. I got pissed at my sister this morning because she opened the light and kept barging in and out of the room, making any further sleep totally impossible. I mumbled to her to please turn off the light and close the door but as usual she ignored that. So I locked the door to keep her away and then she starts banging and screaming to let her in. I had no choice but to unlock the door because I was too wide awake to care already. World War III occured after that, leaving me clamoring to my mom for my own room. As usual she didn’t listen to me, saying that she spent all her teenage life sharing a room with four sisters. If she can live through that, then so can I. Easy for her to say.
I have this belief that if you start your day on the wrong foot, the rest of the day will be just as bad. My day wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t good either. When I came in the classroom for review classes, I spotted that Chinese guy I like talking to some Chinese girls. Near my seat. And I dunno why but seeing that made my insides start to twist up, like somebody had committed a major betrayal to me. Luckily, classes started right away and I needed to focus all my energy into more important things like DNA. But after awhile I started to get mad all over again; at myself for being such a wimp, at God for not making me a traditional Japanese girl (or Chinese), and at the fact that I’m stuck with sharing a room with my sister and that there was nothing I could do about it.
To cheer myself up I looked for pictures of Makoto for my next layout but even that look in his eyes couldn’t make me smile. Bah, I know life’s not fair. But it seems to me like it’s been unfair to me for way too long.
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9 Responses to “There’s hopeless smiles brighter than mine”
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I know how you feel, I had such a bad day today too, life’s not fair that girls have IT and boys don’t…I’m in such a mood right now cos I’m also in this post menstrual thing, ah I hate it!!!Anyways, Lauryn HEAD UP!!!!!! You’re such a sweetie ^^
might be PMS. waddya think? could also be ‘the energy of the day’. what’s your star sign?
*HuG* Lauryn…your day does really sound aweful…I feel the same way you do, when something happens right in the morning, you can forget the rest of the day, because the mood is already ruined. *sigh* Maybe the Chinese guy just talked to his friend and he is still available? Did you investigate?
I hope your day tomorrow is going to be lots better. 
Well, it’s always something…I’ve had my own room all my life, and it’s my dad who slams around, making noise from the buttcrack of dawn on! He’s one of those annoying people who think that just because he likes to wakes up at 6 or 7 (even on a weekend!) the rest of the house should, too…argggghhh…
Could you explain to me the dramatic difference for a chinese, japanese, etc girl? I don’t understand the social status or racism that occurs in the phillipines.
hmmm. I hope that little incident isn’t proof that Chinese people avoid having relationships with non-Chinese people (you know, all those family dynasties?) On another note, Lauryn, I know you like Barbie’s Cradle. Well, they’re coming to my village to perform, along with Imago and Battery on May 4th. I’ll try to get something for you.
is it makoto from the manga, love hina? I love that manga..had most of their dvds
*hugs lauryn* well everyone has their good days and their bad days. I hope things will get better soon.
Oh yes… that part about the betrayal…. I can totally relate. 
I’m not even sure why… but I get that feeling at times..
Okay wow, this is a lot…..I’ll answer all the comments individually.
Ania: Post menstrual syndrome seems to have improved today. Thanks
Lollipop: I’m an Aries. Haven’t been reading my horoscope in awhile.
Connie: I dunno if that Chinese guy is still available but he seems like he is cos he hangs around with girls. Chinese, that is.
Joanna: My dad does that too, sometimes he gets pissed early in the morning and what with all his screaming and throwing things around, the whole house wakes up. Grr…
Kat: Well Chinese guys I think usually prefer to be around Chinese girls. It’s a traditional thing. It’s rare for a Chinese guy who has parents who allows him to date girls from other races. I dunno if they’re like that in other countries though.
Yam: I’m afraid that dynasty thing might be true after all! You’re so lucky Barbie’s Cradle will be performing at your village.
Tobu: I’m not sure if he that was Love Hina, but in that manga Makoto was in, he had a girlfriend named Aine. Tell me, is it true that Aucifer is disbanding?
Daynah: Aw, you’re so nice! Hey, tell your boyfriend to introduce me to cute Japanese-American guys the next time I go there.
I love you all!!!