The Lauryn-Angelica Classification of Filipino Teenage Guys

February 23rd, 2002 with 397 views

Informal Introduction:

Out of boredom in school today, my best friend Angelica and I made a classifaction of Filipino guys here in the Philippines (well actually, I made most of it). At first, it was just supposed to be between me and Angelica. But it sounded so good so I let a few people read it. And then they seemed to like it a lot, which is why I put it here. Note: I *may* sound a bit offending but hey, it’s the truth. Not that I really care what you think of me anyway.

Classification

Filipino teenage guys are classified into four main groups: The Jologs, The Trashers, The Coņos, and The Good Boys. These in term are divided into several subgroups, as some Filipino guys seem to be a mixture of two or three groups, but the authors are too lazy to think of them right now.

I. The Jologs

  • Feeling blacks or “hip-hoppers”
  • Natural habitats: the kantos (streets), cheap-ass malls, Glorietta 2 (Timezone) and 1
  • Mode of Dress/Physical Appearance:
    a. Visors worn upside-down, beanies or bandannas.
    b. Jackets (in the summer), shades (indoors), extremely baggy shorts, jeans so low that their boxers are visible in spite of their huge shirts (not a pretty sight), huge sneakers.
    c. Shirts or jerseys in blinding colors (orange, green, yellow, etc.)
    d. Hair may be dyed or partially dyed blonde or light brown, which does not look good with their already dark skins.
    e. Hair may be in spikes.

  • Characteristics:
    a. Well basically, they act like blacks, forgetting the fact that they are Filipinos, not the African-Americans of L.A.
    b. Listens to rap music, sometimes local rap metal music bands such as Slapshock.

  • Say what?: “Westsiiiide!! Eastsiiiide!! Northsiiiide!! Southsiiiide!!”

    II. The Trashers

  • Bad boys (or feeling bad boys)
  • Natural habitats: Glorietta, specifically G-spot (a seedy billiards place) and the balcony of Rustans’ U2, clubs (rarely)
    . Mode of Dress/Physical Appearance
    a. Resembles the jologs in terms of dress but without the visor, shades and extremely baggy shorts. Thrashers are more trendy.
    b. Easily identified by pipes; all Trashers wear them. (Pipes: extremely baggy elephant pants. Note that not all guys who wear pipes are Trashers. But all Trashers wear them)
    c. Have numerous face and body piercings.
    d. Most have spiked hair; others are skinheads.
    e. They usually buy their clothes in trendy stores (People are People, 1:15, etc.)
    f. Most have a yosi (cigarette) hanging out of their mouth or dangling between their hands as they walk around the mall.

  • Characteristics:
    a. Are usually members of those scary high school fraternities
    b. War freaks, especially the members of those frats. They are constantly beating someone else up at the mall.
    c. Listens to rap metal, rap, or local rock bands.

  • As a boyfriend: My batchmates have weird tastes in guys, and a lot of them go out with Thrashers. From what I’ve observed, they’re quite aggressive when it comes to girls, but a lot of them are faithful and the relationship lasts for months, even years.
  • Say what?: “‘Tang ina mo! Gago!” (Rough translation: “Motherfucker! Asshole!” Literal translation: “Your mother is a whore! Asshole!”)

    III. The Coņos

  • Show-offy rich kids [or feeling rich kids]
  • Natural habitats: Glorietta 4, The Power Plant, clubs/parties, cruising in their cars around EDSA with the stereos blasting rap music to full volume
  • Mode of Dress/Physical Appearance:
    a. Usually go around in [imitation] designer clothes from head to foot.
    b. Most wear huge [fake] gold or silver necklaces.
    c. Have either slicked back hair, neat hair cuts or shaved heads.
    d. Speaks in English (or tries to) with an American accent and uses American slang.

  • Characteristics:
    a. Mayabang. (show-offs)
    b. They seem to like cars a lot.
    c. Listens to rap and rock.

  • As a boyfriend: Sad to say, a lot of coņos are quite cute but you can tell they’re the kind of guys who cheats on girls or has sex with a lot of girls.
  • You know he’s a cono if: he can’t stop talking about his gimmicks, his latest “love conquest” or his Mercedes Benz
  • Say what?: “Yo nigga! Check out my wheels, man!”

    IV. The Good Boys

  • Otherwise known as clean-cut guys.
  • Natural habitats: Glorietta, Power Plant, Alabang Town Center
  • Mode of Dress/Physical Appearance:
    a. Often mistaken for coņos because they look the same physically, but The Good Boys dress a whole lot more simple than the conos
    b. They sport neatly combed, sometimes gelled hair.
    c. Usually dress in khaki or denim jeans.
    d. Eyes have a soulful, puppy-dog look to them.

  • Characteristics:
    a. Most are torpe (shy) when it comes to girls.
    b. Follows the rules, or bends them as much as possible.
    c. Most don’t smoke, drink or take drugs.
    d. Most have safe, predictable and peaceful lives.
    e. Music: anything, though for some reason a lot of Good Boys the authors know seem to like sentimental music
    f. Are in danger of becoming extinct.

  • As A Boyfriend: You can tell they’re the kind to have long, serious relationships! Sadly, a lot are just too shy to ask out the girl they like.
  • Note: More aggressive girls may get tired of the Good Boy act after awhile.
  • Say what?: Girl: “Hi (insert name here!)” Good Boy: “….(too shy)”
    • Filed under entries |


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    25 Responses to “The Lauryn-Angelica Classification of Filipino Teenage Guys”

    1. Mikko on July 24, 2002 05:32 am

      Haha.. nice.

    2. victor on July 24, 2002 05:59 am

      well-done classification. Agree

    3. Kawsek on July 24, 2002 07:10 pm

      Damn… I think im a good boy. Agree. BTW, I think i’l make something like this 4 girls

    4. name Rosie on August 8, 2002 05:01 pm

      comment I have to make a comment on Amanda’s ‘comment’. Amanda ’sweetie’ I presume that you are American. If you are, then please don’t assume that you speak English. You and your friends speak American. Only those of us who are truly English can presume to say that we speak the language. After all, it has been our language for thousands of years and we don’t massacre it.
      With apologies to all you nice Amercians out there.

    5. maria on August 28, 2002 10:08 am

      haha…cute.

    6. tom on September 22, 2002 05:32 pm

      A very provacative classification. I could’t agree more!

    7. Jae-Roc on October 22, 2002 04:09 am

      Man, you’re a motherfuckin stereotypikal bitch!

      Reppin H-Town, Texas!!!

    8. Jae-Roc on October 22, 2002 04:13 am

      Thug Life baby!

      All my reall Mothafuckas out there, represent! From H-Town to Manila, keep on doin your shit.

      Deuce.

    9. Jen on October 22, 2002 04:15 am

      hey! just wanted to say you gotta great page here. Keep up the good work

    10. Miss of the Moon on November 20, 2002 09:29 am

      God damn you suck…Is it an impossible notion for you to look BEYOND physical appearances and get to know a real person?

    11. lee on November 21, 2002 12:14 am

      some people are so offended by the truth.

    12. Mac on February 8, 2003 06:29 am

      Nakalimutan mo ang iba pang mga subgroups:
      (1)Transplated Balikbayan-type.
      (2)Ravers and Goths (Thrashers?)
      (3)FOBs w/c somehow end up as jologs anyway.

      hahaha. been away from home for so long but glad to see that jologs is still jologs.

    13. aaron on February 11, 2003 12:45 pm

      You should have made a book about this, an outstanding topic for a thesis I must say. I really like your skill. I hope that I get to know you much better. More better and God bless…TAMA!

    14. alex on September 12, 2003 04:55 am

      great thesis!
      btw, awesome page!
      lates…. :mrgreen:

    15. name Jez on November 23, 2003 11:07 pm

      comment
      hi! just want u to know that what u said were all true, but we cant hide the fact na maraming na-offend, but what can we say? thats the truth, ryt? well, I included what you said to my speech in my public speaking class, but dont worry, i included your name and ur friend’s :) nice article u got! keep it uP! ;-)

    16. name on December 11, 2003 03:56 pm

      comment :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :evil: :oops: :-| :sigh: :razz: :?: :-x :lol: :-| :razz: :razz: :roll: :roll:

    17. name on December 20, 2003 06:19 pm

      that was bloody funny. no subcultures though?

    18. jane on December 25, 2003 05:52 pm

      no sense :twisted:

    19. Neil Da Deal on January 10, 2004 02:55 pm

      Wow. I didn’t kno dat. I’m from NYC. Things are different here. But the words like motherfucker and how ni99as be acting thugish and gangsta are the same anywhere.

    20. nameana loraine on January 21, 2004 04:44 pm

      i love you victor n :heart: e ri :hug:

    21. Daphne on May 3, 2004 11:55 am

      shucks….!!! how nice:razz:

    22. peejay on July 6, 2004 08:45 am

      hahahaha nice nice nice…. good…. hehehehehe:mrgreen::mrgreen:

    23. aileenBD on August 10, 2004 05:43 pm

      :roll::roll:love you all

    24. gabi on August 12, 2005 03:59 am

      hey how u been n whats youre name

    25. i_want_i_screamz on August 26, 2005 01:21 am

      kewl! i love ur ideas!

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