And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like I love you

I was out practically the entire day shopping for presents for my friends. I always buy my presents at Greenhills because it’s cheaper and there are like, a lot of choices. You’ll need a lot of patience though, because it’s such a big place and there are millions of stalls you can go to. At some parts it was so crowded, you could smell what the person next to you had for lunch. But Greenhills is such an awesome place for shopping. There were a ton of things I wanted to buy for myself–particularly this very adorable purple flannel blanket! But my mom didn’t want me to get it because she said I won’t be able to use it..I was rather disappointed but oh well. And I did buy a couple of things for me like a long denim skirt, two black tops, black eyeliner, a black string kind of necklace, hair scrunchies (black–don’t I just love variety?) and umm…black thong underwear. Yep, my very first g-string. I tried it on awhile ago and it felt so bare, like I didn’t have any panties on. And for the first time, I noticed that I had stretch marks on the very upper part of my thighs…not pretty. Oh well, I just wanted to know what a thong feels like. And now I know, and it’s not that bad really.

My friends told me to get them clothes, but I had a hard time finding sizes for Glyka and Angelica because they were either too small or too big, respectively. So I got them something else. I had to walk around a long time to find Patsy something..she’s a hard person to buy for because she doesn’t like knick-knacks except for orange things but there weren’t any available. I thought of getting her a top or something but then I was presented with a dilemma: I can’t tell if she’s a girl or a tomboy. On some days she dresses really girly but on other days she dresses like a tomboy. So after a lot of looking around, I just got her a shirt that was sort of in between. I’m pretty happy with my purchases though, I even bought something for my sister.

Well after shopping for four and a half hours, my mom and I went to the Power Plant to pick my sister who went out with her friends. We ended up watching Monsters, Inc.–very adorable movie! I expected it to be boring and dumb, like most kid movies. But I like the storyline a lot, especially the ending. The animation was really impressive too. After the movie, my mom bought some last-minute Christmas decorations and then we were too tired to do anything else. So we went home.

When I turned on the computer, I was surprised to see that Casey was on AIM for the very first time since he left for Germany. We didn’t talk for long though–he was tired and he had some things to do, I think. *sigh* I have mixed feelings for that guy…sometimes I don’t even know why I bother. Do I feel that way only out of habit (having these feelings all these years), or are my feelings actually for real? I made him a CD composed of non-sentimental songs that have not quite subliminal messages which sum up all the emotions I feel for him. I love expressing myself through songs I like..it makes things so much easier for me.

A week from now I will be at the rock awards…if Glyka can make it!

One summer’s night is the only time we know

Long weekend! We don’t even have Saturday classes..aww yeah! I still have to go to Spanish class on Saturday though, but at least there’s no school tomorrow. I hope my dad gets me my electric guitar this weekend because I’m running out of songs to play on my acoustic guitar. I’m also dying to try out the guitar tabs I’ve downloaded off the Internet…that is, once I learn how to teach myself how to read guitar tabs.

I had nothing to do when I got home from school today, so I decided to finish redecorating my bedroom walls. I’m already done with the wall above the couch and it looks sooooo awesome! Naturally I would say that because it’s my room but really, it looks great. I had Christmas lights strung around half the perimeter of the ceiling in my room, and it makes my room look really nice when I turn them on. I love semi-darkness.

Well here’s what’s on the wall above my couch:

# Two silverchair posters (one black and white from the Freak Show era, and a colored one from the Neon Ballroom era)

# A short silverchair article

# Two silverchair pictures (magazine cutouts again)

# A black and white magazine cutout of a tattoo on this guy’s back that says “Freedom”

# Three pictures of Barbie Almalbis that I tore off from PULP! magazine (it was a pretty big sacrifice, that issue was the most expensive)

# This picture of a really *hot* guy model that I tore off from Teen People magazine. I placed it on a prominent location so I can stare at him as I lull myself to sleep.

# About five or six pictures of girls in punk clothes.

They all look good against the Christmas lights.

It seems worth the wait to see your smile again

School = blah. I’m just really grateful we’ve got a long weekend ahead of us, thanks to Bonifacio Day or whatever holiday we’re supposed to be celebrating on Friday. Surprisingly though, I’ve got nothing planned this weekend except stay home, sleep, play my guitar and then sleep some more. Some people act like they’d die if they don’t go out one weekend, and I feel sorry for people who are like that. Those same people think it’s like, a loser thing if you’re alone over the weekend and I think that’s stupid. I don’t mind spending quality time with me, not because I tend to be anti-social when I’m not in the mood to be with people, but simply because it’s nice to just be quiet and relax and not get all tired from walking around the mall or partying.

I’ll be doing my Christmas shopping on Friday so I don’t get caught in the mid-December crowd. I’m actually looking forward to Christmas this year because my cousins from the States are coming over and staying with us. The last time I saw them was when they came over for my brother’s funeral last year, and I miss them a lot! Especially Mark…he and my sister had a lot of good bonding time when she went to the States last summer. I helped my mom decorate the tree earlier this evening and for some reason that made me happy. Looking at the decorated Christmas tree reminds me of my childhood Christmases, and all of a sudden I found myself wishing I could be a kid again.

Much as I hate to, I admit to liking the song Slave by Britney Spears. Even though I’ve foresworn to hate pop starlets and their songs forever, Slave is sooo catchy and fun to dance to. Another Britney song I like is Don’t Let Me Be The Last To Know…ugh, what is happening to me? I must be regressing to my pop music grade six days–I was really into the Spice Girls and Hanson then. But I’ve never liked Britney Spears, I think she’s better off as a porn star than a singer.

I haven’t written a new song since Porcelain and it’s frustrating me. I tried to write one this afternoon but it sounded like I had nothing better to do with my spare time than pity myself. And I don’t really, but I just wanted to write a song about feeling totally out of place in school since I am very much unlike most of the people there. Do you know that my classmates refer to the word “accent” as “slang”? Even Patsy and Angelica does it! Whatever…

I miss you-know-who.