I believe in the radical possibilities of pleasure, babe

Happy Halloween guys. Regardless of what I said yesterday (or was it the other day, I forgot), I ended up going trick or treating this year. Just when kids were starting to fill up the streets, the doorbell rang with visitors for me. So I looked out and to my surprise I saw Alex with Stephen and Chris, the very last people I expected to see today. I thought they’d forgotten about me already but I guess not. I was really happy to see them after so many months and pleased to note that Chris looks a lot cuter now. I’ve been friends with him too long though and I would feel a tad bit weird if I did get a crush on him now. I dunno..he’s just not crush material anymore.

Anyhow, it turns out that they were going around the village in Stephen’s car for free candy. Since I wouldn’t be doing anything more than chill on the front porch with my cousins, I went to join them. It felt like the old days again and it was all good. Alex and Stephen didn’t mind getting down from the car to ask for candy but Chris and I had to keep low profiles just in case we ran into people who know us. Apparently, we’re too “cool” to be caught doing something as dumb as trick or treating. But then who should we see but Mr. Cool himself, Jean? He was with some guys and it was so funny because they were all dressed up in girls’ school uniforms, complete with make-up! He was dressed in a blue hibiscus polo and khaki pants though, and he was like gawking at Alex, who was sitting at the front. I had to turn my head away so he wouldn’t see me; I hope Stephen’s car windows are heavily tinted. He doesn’t know that I’m still friends with Alex and if he did, he’d tease me about it. Not that I really care though, but I think I’ve had enough bullshit to last me for awhile and I certainly don’t need any more of that crap.

And then I kept getting all these crazy ideas. I must’ve eaten too much candy.

“Know a really scary thing we could do?” I asked Stephen.

“What?” he asked.

“Give me a driving lesson!” I replied enthusiastically, like it was the most brilliant idea in the world.

“With all these kids walking around? Sure, that’s perfectly safe,” Chris said.

After awhile, I thought of another one. “Let’s go to Ayala Alabang! We’d get heaps and heaps of candy there,” I announced brightly. I spent my childhood Halloween days trick or treating at Ayala Alabang; people there give candy by the handfuls and I’d be carrying bags and bags of it home. And it certainly was a weird idea because Alabang is like, half an hour away from where I live and it would take even longer if the highway has slow traffic like it usually does. But we ended up getting a decent amount of candy and although I didn’t bring any home with me I ate some of the good ones in the car.

Although I’m not going to a very hot Halloween party tonight, I spent some good bonding time with old friends and cousins. And that’s a pretty good thing.

I don’t want to waste my time and become another casualty of society

Just finished working on my newest journal layout and I’m really happy about it–I’ll be uploading it on November 1. Well other than that, today was a rather bad day for me. It wasn’t bad bad but you know, compared to my better days today was, well…lousy. I thought I’d only be with Dina and Glyka today and of course I was cool with that. But then we ran into three of the Chiqs and to my horror Dina and Glyka approached them. Naturally I had no choice but to tag along. We ended up spending most of our time smoking and chilling at G-Spot. G-Spot is this billiards place where the people at my school hang out with Bosconians. It’s actually a pretty okay place; the music and the ambiance is good but the crowd is bad so I wouldn’t dream of going back there again. Now that I think about it, anybody who thinks they’re somebody goes to G-Spot to chill and to smoke. And for the record it was the others who were yosi-tripping, not I. They all smoke like freaking chimneys; they must’ve inhaled a whole factory’s worth of smoke and poison. An hour and a half of breathing in air pollution. So despite repeated applications of large doses of perfume, I still stunk to the high heavens of cigarettes by the time I got home, a scent I particularly detest.

Dina was with this guy named Glen, and I don’t know if they’re dating each other but I’m assuming that they are. Their limbs were languidly intertwined with each others’ practically the entire time, which made me feel really uncomfortable. I don’t know why but I feel really weird when I see people getting all mushy-mushy over each other. I always look away during kissing scenes in movies..my dad doesn’t need to tell me to close my eyes. Some Bosconians were with us too, the kind of guys I would wrinkle my nose at and think, “Loser!” Although they ignored my presence the Chiqs were actually nice to me. But everyone was talking about all these people I didn’t know. I couldn’t relate to a single thing they were saying so I just sat there feeling like a prize idiot and pretended to smile and laugh along with them. But inside I was screaming, Get me the hell out of here!

So out of place I felt that I went home an hour early. *sigh* All right, status check: my barkada is pissed at me for reasons I cannot fathom. I haven’t divulged any of their shallow secrets to the school population who doesn’t give a damn. I haven’t acted sarcastic towards them, therefore their ultra-sensitive egos couldn’t have been damaged. I’m really good friends with Glyka but I do not fit in with her kind of people. Believe me, today is the last day I’ve tried and I’m really convinced. Unfortunately, she’s the only one of my friends who really like to go out–my barkada (if they still are my friends) only go out after the quarterly exams. Kriya likes going out though, and she’s nice but she can be a tad bit snobbish and besides she only likes to go out at night. Kapst, Glaiza and Annie are nice too but I’m not really that tight with them.

Umm…I hate high school?

I write down everything I want to remember

I don’t know why but for some reason I wake up at eight a.m. instead of ten a.m. like I always do. Even though I sleep late at night I always end up waking at that time. It really sucks because I try wake up late as much as possible so the day would go by faster. When you wake up early you have more waking hours of doing nothing, unlike if you sleep in. Today wasn’t a total waste however. I found myself struck by inspiration so I erased what I had written in my novel so far and started from scratch. When I grew rather tired of writing, I saw that I had only done four or five pages but that they were definitely a lot better than what I wrote before. At last, some progress! I’m thinking of maybe putting the first chapter online when I’m done with it, like what I used to do when I was younger. Then again if I want to have it published, I can’t give away freebies. Perhaps I’ll just wait and see if my novel turns out to be great or if it turns out to be like shit.

The rest of my afternoon was spent alternating between the TV and reading One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia-Marquez
. As you can see, today wasn’t so exciting but I think I’ve had enough excitement for awhile. I need my break.

I hate being so allergic to cat fur. The annoying part about my allergy fits is that my nose becomes extra-sensitive. The slightest smell of anything sweet, like perfume or air freshener, is enough to send me sneezing several times. And there is air freshener all over the house so you can just imagine how horrible and irritable I feel right now. Ugh!

Maybe I’ll write more tomorrow.