You are the one where I am not ashamed to show not only some, but all of me

Ahh Thursday..one more night of incomplete sleep and it will be the weekend once more! We don’t have Spanish class this Saturday which means I can sleep in all morning. Boy, am I looking forward to that. I really hate it when I’m having a really nice dream, only to find it vanishing it in a cloud of dust when my mom wakes me up for school. In the morning I become some sort of evil alter-ego of myself…but come afternoon I’m feeling a lot less grouchy and more alert. I dunno why but today I was feeling extra-sleepy so I was really glad when Filipino teacher wasn’t around. I slept for an entire, wonderful hour. It wasn’t very comfortable sleeping on my folded arms because they get really numb after awhile. But I was certainly feeling a whole lot better after that. How come kids in nursery class get have naptime when all they do all day is play and sing songs? That’s not fair…we high school people need our naps too, after all that studying all night.

My auntie arrived from the States a few days ago and today, my mom went to her to get some stuff she brought home with her. Along with coloured gel-pens and Toblerone chocolates, came my Silverchair poster from Jordan. It was taken during the Neon Ballroom era and Daniel stands in the middle of Ben and Chris, respectively. Ahhh! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again..Daniel Johns is so hot. I immediately replaced my poster of The Matrix..now I’ve got two Silverchair posters, two images of Daniel Johns I can stare at as I lull myself to sleep. I’m sending Jordan something to say thanks–the Silverchair poster was one of the best things I’ve ever received, because stuff like that is impossible to find here.

God, I miss Casey. I was reading the poems he wrote back in 1999–he was 15 then and it was amazing because the stuff he talked about was almost the exact same things I tend to feel. We have a connection, Casey and I. He’s probably the only person in the world who could totally understand me. I have great friends but they tend to give me these weird looks whenever I start rambling about how I feel that there must be something more to life than this. Nobody I know (offline) appreciates my writing either. Of course, I was too young to appreciate his poetry when he wrote them..I think I was 13. But my friends are older than I am and I’m not bragging or anything but sometimes I feel like I’m a deeper person than they are. Anyhow, Casey was also obssessed with Silverchair at that time and I wish I was too. Now that I have the chance to re-read his old journal entries, I learned that I could relate to him sooo much on a lot of things. I wish I had some Silverchair-obssessed people to talk to right now. There’s a difference between a Silverchair fan and a Silverchair freak..so far I have found neither. *sigh* I really miss Casey, I wish I could talk to him right now. And not just talk to him but you know, talk talk to him. I hardly have any insightful conversations with people anymore. Everyone else talks about shallow, trivial, teenage things and it’s fun at first but after awhile it starts to get on my nerves.

Sometimes I just get so tired of facing the same people with the same problems and the same topics of conversation. At times like this I wish I was already in college where I could meet all sorts of people and not get bored with talking to them about all sorts of things. That’s why I’m such a snob, I like to be with people who I think don’t act ordinary, who have some sort of trait that makes them different from everyone else. I dunno..am I making any sense? I’ve got allergies from my cat and I can’t think well.