Jesus loves you…everyone else thinks you’re an asshole

So I’ll be leaving tomorrow morning at ten o’clock for my retreat at a rather isolated place somewhere in Tagaytay. Supposing that my school bus crashes or I catch some sort of disease (I hope not!), this will be my last journal entry. However I seriously doubt that my retreat will be anything more than the nuns screaming at us for being so damn noisy. It’s probably gonna suck like anything cos our entire batch will be sharing one big room. Meaning that I’m stuck with the people I dislike for three days and two nights and also that the lines of the showers will be extra long as well. Our principal came to the classroom the other day to give us an orientation about the retreat. When we complained about the extremely long wait for a shower, she told us that the retreat is not a pleasure cruise; rather, it is a sacrifice. We are to live poorly and mortify ourselves and we are not there to enjoy, yadda, yadda, yadda. But seriously though, I wouldn’t mind living poorly and mortifying myself, so long that I’m not with the people I dislike. They don’t do anything to me, but their ceaseless whining and complaining will drive me completely out of my mind. Ugh!

You’re probably wondering why I’m being so pessimistic about this entire thing. Well, the principal says it is better to have very little expectations for anything because at least you won’t be disappointed that way. Maybe if I keep thinking about what a horrible time I’ll probably have, I’ll end up enjoying myself. Or something like that. One thing that really gets to me, aside from being stuck with my batchmates, is that we aren’t allowed to bring Discmans at all. If our teacher or the nun sees us with one, she’ll take it from us and we won’t ever lay our eyes on it again until the end of the schoolyear. I thought of bringing my Discman just the same..I mean, I don’t have to tell the whole world that I’m violating a rule. But when I thought of the risk of it being taken away for six months, I figured that two days without my music won’t do any permanent damage to my brain or anything like that. It always pays to think twice, doesn’t it?

I planned to bring my dad’s Tarot cards as well cos I promised my friends I’d do readings for them. But when I went to my parents’ room to look for it this afternoon, I couldn’t find it at all. I searched everywhere for it and when I was sure that it wasn’t there, I asked my mom if she knows where he might have kept it. Her reply surprised me because she told me that my dad hid it from me. She says he thinks that I’m too young for that kind of thing, and because I don’t have the right training I might interpret everything wrongly or something to that effect. He’s partly right I guess. I mean all I know about interpreting the cards is based from what I’ve read from the little booklet that came with it. But I don’t think I’m too young to learn it. I mean, I’ve read the booklet and I understand everything perfectly–I think I have very good comprehension. All that is left is for me to memorize everything which I keep putting off because I hate memorizing and besides, I easily forget them when I’m nervous. I was rather disappointed though, because I’d been looking forward to seeing if I do have any psychic powers (or not). And it would be interesting to see what kind of things I could learn about my friends.

Anyhow, I wonder if the nuns would think I was a witch or The Antichrist something if they saw me messing around with the Tarot cards and doing readings for my classmates. There’s nothing in the school policy about not bringing Tarot cards but still, you never know what kind of things make the nuns go ballistic. I wonder if bringing Tarot cards to school would mean expulsion. Probably not, but still…it’s probably better to put off learning it until summer or whenever my dad thinks I’m old enough to do anything at all.

Well…wish me luck people. No need to come back until Wednesday cos obviously I won’t be able to update while I’m away. I don’t have a laptop and even if I did I don’t think I would’ve been allowed to bring it with me.