She is not a slut….she is sexually extroverted

Ahh…nothing can beat a Catholic, all-girls education in the Philippines. Sure, it’s super-strict and it’s super-conservative but that’s what makes it very interesting. One day I will write a book about my Catholic-school education. In fact, I think I will write something about that now.

School was rather dull and uneventful during the morning. During lunch time, I frantically crammed for my Filipino test, only to find out–to my sheer joy–that my Filipino teacher wasn’t around. Then we had Health class, and then after that, Computer Class which I don’t like. We’re learning Microsoft Excel, and the teacher treats us like we’re uncivilized cannibals who has never seen a computer in their life. He’s always like, “Don’t touch that! You could destroy the computer! Do you know how much that costs?” Whatever. And then all the stuff he teaches us in Excel are like, the long methods. Like saving a document for example. He taught us first like, press control S but I’d rather use the mouse as it is faster and more convenient.

Anyway, we were fifteen minutes into Computer Class, cramming for the surprise test we should have had two weeks ago, when all of a sudden the school principal Sister Mylene went in the room. Immediately, I hid my hands behind my back. Two days ago when I went to the Power Plant, I had tried on some glitter nail polish, not realizing that we didn’t have nail polish remover at home. I had forgotten all about my nail polish until my Chem teacher was like, “You…why do you have Cutex on your fingernails?” Oopsie. I prayed she wouldn’t do a fingernail/earring inspection the way she did when she visited our classroom during sophomore year. Much to my relief, she was much too pissed off about something else to worry about whether or not we were wearing five earrings on each ear.

She then proceeded to tell us what was wrong. “The school,” she began, “has placed a lot of effort in improving this year’s school ID.” She waved a stack of IDs tied together to stress her point. Keeping my fists clenched, I stared back at her curiously, wanting to know what she was getting at.

“They had been given to you two days ago so you could place your signature on the blank labelled, ‘Student’s Signature’,” she continued. “Third graders up to seniors are to place their signatures on that blank.” She paused again, letting her words sink in. “That is why I do not understand why your batch is the only one who cannot follow instructions.”

Then she picked up an ID and called out, “Josielee Flores.” Jojo, this girl who is a total asshole and whom I’m not particularly fond of, stood up with this “Huh?” look on her face.

“Go to the boards and write there what you wrote in your ID card,” Sister commanded. Jojo shrugged then proceeded to the front. “Faster!” Sister barked. Jojo then proceeded to write her nickname in bold capital letters and as a finishing touch, added the face of Calvin with shades.

“What is this?” Sister asked sharply.

“It’s my nickname, Sister,” Jojo replied.

“I see. And this? What is this?” Sister demanded, pointing at the face of Calvin. Her fingertip had left a mark right in the middle of the cartoon, completely defacing Calvin.

“It’s a cartoon, Sister.”

Sister shoved her ID to her face. “Tell me, what does this read?”

“Uhh…’student’s signature’, Sister.”

“And tell me. Is this how you write your signature?”

“No, Sister.”

“Then why did you write that?”

And there was no answer.

Sixteen more girls were called, including Annie and Glyka. After each were given interview questions of, “What is this?” or “Why did you write this?” or “Is this your signature?” and similar more others, they were to line up at the side of the classroom. They looked to me like girls in a beauty contest or something, being called up one by one to be interviewed by the judge or whatever. It was such a funny sight and several times I nearly laughed out loud. But then I remembered my fingernails and realized it won’t be laughing matter if I get caught by The Principal. So I kept my mouth shut.

Once the interrogations were done, the prinipal then proceeded to give us this lecture. “The school ID is considered as an official school document, and you treated it like a joke! Don’t you have any respect for yourself?…” On and on and on it went and it was beginning to get a bit boring. After fifteen or so more minutes, her lecture was done and she called those girls again, one by one.

“Now tell us, what can you do to right your wrongs?” she commanded.

And everyone else gave similar replies of, “I promise to think before I act so that it won’t happen again.” Gotta love your Catholic-school education.

The principal’s stay was prolonged because several of my classmates were complaining that we were getting too much homework and tests. That part was getting real boring because it wasn’t getting us anywhere. Sister refused to set a limit for the number of homework and tests that can be given to us each day. Finally, it was over, and we could all go home. Sighing with relief, I slung my backpack over my shoulder and proceeded to walk out of the door.

But just as I was about to leave, Sister tapped my shoulder and said, “Your hair.”

“My hair?” I asked, puzzled. My highlights have already faded and my hairstyle was the same as yesterday’s…I’m quite sure that a different hairstyle wasn’t listed as a violation in the School Diary.

“I don’t want to see you wearing it like that again, okay? You look like a gypsy.” She walked away before I got the chance to reply.

Is she so sheltered that any hairstyle you don’t normally see is considered “gypsy”? I suppose if I had mohawk done, Sister would think I’m a Satanist (not that mohawks would be allowed anywhere near school)! It’s funny how my school loves to pick on these little things that don’t really matter, while the major things like girls making out in our not-so-empty classroom during lunch time go unnoticed. I think it’s weird the way the nuns and some teachers are soooo conservative and closed-minded, but in a way it’s also an adventure because not everyone gets to experience it. I recommend a Catholic, all-girls education for all you girls out there. It can be a lot of fun if you look at it from a different angle.