¿Hay ezperanza para mi?

Ugh, I feel so goddamn bloated. I ate today more than I could eat in an entire week. Seriously…during school days I eat very little or nothing at all. Not because I’m trying to slim down, but because food just doesn’t seem important to me anymore. Whenever I do eat, it’s only out of habit and not because I’m hungry. I guess today my body decided to make up up for all those days of eating like a rabbit. I don’t exactly remember what I ate but it was a lot…now my tummy’s all big and yucky-looking. I wish I was one of those people who could eat and eat but still never manage to gain a single pound. I seriously wouldn’t mind being a little bit plump if only I wasn’t so short…short and plump is a very bad combination.

Today wasn’t so eventful. I went to Spanish class this morning and we talked about how to conjugate regular and irregular verbs. I spent my afternoon sleeping with my kitty and reading The Witching Hour by Anne Rice because I didn’t have guitar lessons again. I really wish I had longer fingers; it would make playing the guitar a whole lot easier. I can hardly reach the complex chords cos I’ve got hands the size of a ten-year old. ¿Hay ezperanza para mi?

I’ve decided not to come along to the PTA meeting tomorrow cos I don’t think my friends will be there. And even if they’re there…well damn, I don’t want to see them. I’m not really in bad terms with them, mind you. It’s just that I’m not really up to socializing with them and all that crap. Plus Bosconians will be there, the brothers and boyfriends of the Chiqs.

I think it’s kind of weird how the things I think of or say sometimes come true. Last week, in my anger, I vowed to myself that things would never be the same between me and Michelle. When we settled our differences I thought things would be back to normal but it never was. Michelle hardly spends time with us anymore, choosing to spend recess and lunch with Patsy. We treat each other like total strangers; we don’t even say hi when we pass each other in the hall. All that bullshit about “My friends are important to me” was nothing but a lotta bullshit. But there isn’t really any love lost between us, we’ve never been particularly close. Still, we had our good times and our share of laughs. It’s sad, but I guess people change and I need to learn how to deal with that.