Ode to the Lonely Hearted

I half-expected to wake up this morning with a tummy ache or a burning fever, seeing that today was my least favorite day of the year. All I felt like doing was stay in bed with the covers up to my chin all day and watch Ally McBeal reruns. No such luck; I woke up this morning feeling real sleepy but otherwise healthy and normal. I took a shower and went about my morning routine as though today was just another day.

But today isn’t just another day. It’s Valentine’s day. The day of (ugh) love.

My heart was beating so hard I thought it would burst, as the car stopped right in front of the school entrance. I felt like an unarmed soldier on her way to battle. Right before I had came in I already knew what I would see.

And I saw it. Holland Tulips bouquets everywhere. Red balloons that proclaimed “I Love You” in white, fancy lettering. Huge teddy bears. Girls hugging each other passionately in dark corners of the school.

I damn near passed out.

I guess I should explain why I hate Valentine’s day so much. I think Valentine’s Day is just a silly excuse to sell flowers, chocolates and teddy bears. I find it ridiculous how most people only get romantic on this day. And yet, my sentimental half was feeling sad and jealous. Because I wanted to be part of that silly excuse. And it kind of really sucked that I didn’t get anything today. Even if it had to be from a girl.

Out of desperation, I offered to carry this big-ass bouquet Denilou brought to school for someone else, so that it looked like someone smitten over me had given me the bouquet.

Oh well.

I treated all my morning classes as though today was any other normal day. In between Math time and lunch, I had fallen asleep and woke up to someone poking at my ribs.

“What?” I grumbled, raising my head halfway up the table. Squinting my eyes, I saw that it was Cox who was responsible for interrupting my sleep.

“What do you mean what? You’re supposed to help me out here, remember! The poem!” Cox said.

Oh yeah. The poem.

Cox is courting this girl, see. For Valentine’s day, she each gave eleven people a white rose, and they would give the rose one by one to the lucky girl while I recited a poem that Cox gave me and made me memorize. After all the white roses were handed over to her, Cox would come in and give her the last rose and her Valentine’s Day present–a box of Kenzo perfume that cost well over $50. How um, romantic. I would never let anyone spend so much for me. Chocolates and tulips are welcome anytime. But please don’t waste your money on perfume. I probably won’t even get to smell it, since I’m allergic.

I really wasn’t feeling up to it. But I’m the kind of person who never lets a friend down. So I did it. And as I was reciting the poem, I felt kind of silly and out of place, a demented messenger of love. While this was going on, a crowd had gathered, and several of the girl’s friends were all like giggling and shrieking and going like, “Oh my Gooood! That’s so sweeeet!” They seemed to be more excited about the roses than the girl herself, who just looked really, really embarassed because of the crowd that had gathered around to watch.

I don’t understand why Cox insists on courting this girl even though she knows that she already has a boyfriend and definitely doesn’t have a chance with her. But then love is blind, and it makes people do crazy things. I certainly hope Cox wakes up and comes back to reality real soon. It makes me sad when my friends’ hearts get broken too.

After the poetry-and-flowers episode, my friends and I hung out at the quadrangle, cursing our rotten luck that we just had to be single during Valentine’s Day. There’s nothing like hanging out with your fellow, single people that somehow cheers you up a little.

This is kind of funny, something I wrote two years ago. “that’s why i love you. even though i am what some people might define as “weird”, i love you more because you accept and love me for who i am. you said it wasn’t going to change, and i hope it won’t. i’m not saying anything more, because describing my emotions towards you will send me 10 miles to cheeseville, especially since i’m not a deep person yet. but when i’m a little bit older, i’ll probably write something really deep about you; and i’ll pray you won’t get too bigheaded when you read it.”

I’ve had it with trying to write romantic stuff. And I’ve had it with today. I think I’ll go sleep early tonight.