ash wednesday

Today felt like a Friday, for some weird reason, and I was a lot more cheerful than I’d been in days. We had to wear our white, long-sleeved uniform since today was Ash Wednesday and not only was I overly paranoid when I handled my drinks but it was also very hot in it. This morning we had mass in the chapel instead of the air-conditioned auditorium. Aside from the fact that we had to deal with sweltering heat and the overly-narrow pews that refused to accomodate my ass, we also had to take care of the pre-schoolers who were hearing mass with us. Gosh, was that something. Despite the fact that they couldn’t keep still and were very noisy, I actually enjoyed looking after them. I, who used to dislike kids before. I didn’t even feel pissed when this kid used my hand to wipe the ashes off her forehead. I found that really impressive. Cox told me that I looked like a mother, talking with the kids, constantly running after them and telling them, “Behave, we are in the house of God.” Does this mean that I’m maturing somehow? I hope so! I can’t wait to have kids of my own.

I wore my hair differently today, and the first comment I received was from Angelica. “You look like a schoolgirl,” she said the moment she saw me. Putting my hands on my hips, I demanded, “What’s that supposed to mean?” She laughed and said, “Nothing, it’s just that you look so innocent, that’s all.” A flurry of you-look-so-innocents came after that…it amazed me how everyone could think that I looked so angelic (their term, not mine). Even when I started talking about blowjobs during health class to my friends, they kept saying how innocent I looked, that it felt weird that I was talking about things like that even though I’ve done it before. Hmm, interesting…I guess I could look like an innocent schoolgirl if I felt like it.

I can’t wait for the sixteenth. I’ve decided not to celebrate my birthday at Hard Rock since Bosconians hang out there and I don’t want to degrade myself by flirting with people whom I don’t exactly click with (I’m a snob, so sue me). So I’ve decided to change the party place to “Where Else” instead. All my friends are psyched about it and I seriously hope all of them can make it. Oh well…no matter what happens I will have fun. I’ll only be fifteen for 365 days and even though I’ll be celebrating my birthday a couple of days in advance I’m still going to make the most of it.

field trip

My eyes and my head hurt from lack of sleep. I expected to be sleeping like, 50% of the bus ride but there was just so much food everywhere and well, I just couldn’t help myself. I swear, this year’s field trip has to be the most boring field trip we’d ever had. My seventh grade and freshman field trips were okay because they pretty much let us do whatever we want. This time, we had a tour guide, and all day it was museums, museums, museums. Yawn. Not only that but our goddamn tour guide kept yakking away during the entire bus ride, which is another reason why I had a hard time falling asleep. I thought I would listen to my CDs until I fell asleep but batteries of my Discman died on me, no thanks to my sister who keeps using it even though the stereo in our room is available. So I had no choice but to listen and I actually learned a few things, such as the old name of EDSA (Highway 54).

I also had the unfortunate privilege of sitting next to the vainest girls in the batch. The bus they were supposed to ride in was full so they had no choice but to ride with us. It was so annoying. Not only were they even noisier than the tour guide, but they kept looking at the mirror and combing their hair the entire time. They were pretty nice and all but I just didn’t understand what they were primping themselves up for. The only guys around was the bus driver and the tour guide…gosh, could they have had the hots for them?

The only thing me and my friends were looking forward to today was the McFlurry we would be buying at the McDonald’s at Subic. After a twenty-minute wait at the very loooooong line, we discovered that they had run out of vanilla ice cream. Which really pissed me off because I’m addicted to that shit and it was the only reward I could give myself for having the stamina to endure this very long day. I wanted to go to the Duty Free stores and buy myself a big bag of large marshmallows but the lines were too long and we kind of didn’t have the time and patience to wait in them. So I decided to use the McFlurry’s alternative: the Jollibee swirly-something. I forget. It definitely wasn’t as good as the McFlurry because it was soup more than it was ice cream but hey. Ice cream is ice cream.

I need to write some letters to people. And after that I really need to go to bed.

reading books

Sunday, the beginning of yet another school week. Three more weeks of school seem like a very loooooong time from now. I’ve got a field trip tomorrow, and although it’s probably not going to be as much fun as last year (last year we went to an amusement park, this year we’re going to historical places), we’re all just glad to be excused out of class. The only thing I’m looking forward is the bus ride; all of us pigging out and partying and dancing and enjoying life for once. I’ll probably be listening to my Discman most of the time I’m not in the bus.

Today, I spent my entire afternoon finishing I Know This Much Is True by Wally Lamb. After which, I started reading Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer; I saw the movie once and my dad lent me the book so I thought I’d read it since I had nothing better to do today. Real exciting life I have, huh? If only I had a goddamn job, I wouldn’t be so bored all the time! I hate that underage people can’t work in the Philippines. I hate that underage people can’t do much in the Philippines, period. Above all that, I hate that I look younger than I really am, which gives me even more limitations. The guard at the movies yesterday had to give me the Spanish Inquisition about my age and wouldn’t let me in at first. Which, naturally, sent my friends rolling on the floor with laughter (figuratively, not literally). That pissed me off a lot–not their laughter, but that the guard thought that I looked like a little kid. It upset me that the guard thought that I was a teenybopper eleven-year old. Denilou’s shorter than me–how come she wasn’t asked? I wouldn’t answer at first, because I was shocked and irritated. This has never happened to me before. Once my friends regained their composure, they told the guard that I really was fourteen and after a moment’s hesitation he finally let me in. Now my age is kind of like a joke between me and my friends, and I don’t really mind except that I hate being young and I wish I would hurry up and get older.

What can a fourteen-year old girl do to get some money around here?!

In a month I will be fifteen. In two years I will be out of stupid high school. Three years and one month from now I will be eighteen. It all seems like a loooong way from now!