I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back

Today wasn’t so bad! We didn’t have our English test because the entire school had to go to the auditorium for some symposium. But we had our Biology, Filipino and Health test as scheduled, and they were quite a cinch. I definitely passed Health and Biology, which is good news; about Filipino, I’m still unsure about the results. But my grades were better than what I expected them to be. I hardly studied at all but despite that, I still got good marks. Praying the rosary at night does help. I’m still have English, Asian Studies and Algebra unit tests tomorrow, though, so it looks like I’ll be praying and sleeping late tonight again.

Something happened to me this afternoon that nearly gave me a heart attack. I got a text message from an unknown person saying “Hey bitch, how dare you put my pictures in your website and write stuff about me! Did you really think that I wouldn’t be able to find your website?” I like, got so pissed when I read that. But after like, freaking out for a few minutes, I calmed down and tried to figure out who this person could be. It couldn’t be anyone in my barkada because only Denilou has the Internet and all she knows is my e-mail address. Aside from her, none of my close friends have the Internet and if even if they do, they just use it to go on IRC. and So in the end, I concluded that it was probably a prank played by some random person . See, I stupidly placed my cell phone number in my site (I removed it now) and that’s probably how that moron was able to text me. The pictures on the net are of my close friends and a friend wouldn’t text me if she/he saw his pic on the net. They would talk to me directly. So obviously a prank.

I thought I had a secret admirer as well. See, when I got home from school I saw that I got a missed call from a number I didn’t know. I sent a text message to that person asking who he/she is, and the reply came in like, five minutes. Eagerly, I opened the message, thinking that the caller might be Jean cos he always texts me using other people’s cell phones. And I swear to God, my bra nearly fell off my torso when I saw the words “I am your secret admirer” staring back at me innocently from my cell phone screen. At first I was in doubt; this has never happened to me before. So I replied back, saying, “Do you know who I am?” And the guy replied, “Of course. If I didn’t know who you were then I wouldn’t be your secret admirer.” At that point, I was like, Please be Jean, please be Jean, please be Jean. But still I wanted to make sure, so I said, “Well if you know me, then who am I?” It took a long time for him to reply and my heart and mind was already screaming with impatience by the time the beautiful words “1 message received” lit up the screen. It seemed to take ages for my inbox to open. And do you know what his reply was? “You’re Jakes, right?” Who the fuck is Jakes? I’m Lauryn. This is my cell phone. I do not share it with anyone else except for my sister who uses my mom’s cell phone more than she uses mine. How could’ve he mistaken me for someone else? Not everyone has a cell phone number that starts with 810. I texted the guy back dejectedly, saying something like, “Wrong person. I’m Lauryn and I haven’t met anyone named Jakes in my life.” He apologized like, a million times and asked me if I knew anyone named Matthew because he got my cell phone number from him. How absolutely degrading! And for a few fleeting seconds I thought somebody actually had a crush on me. Oh well. My time will come. I hope.

Guess what? I saw Alex at math tutor today. And God, how I missed her! Let me clarify: I did not miss Alex because she is Alex; rather, I missed the way we used to be very good friends. She was the last, very close girl friend I had. We would talk for hours on the phone, and although she talked a lot, she always asked me what I did, if I saw my crush today and how did it feel…stuff like that. She was not like most of my girl friends who always wanted to talk about their crush, about what they did. Alex was genuinely interested in me and asked me questions. She trusted me, and confided so many things to me. She helped me study for my 4th quarter Filipino exam during my freshman year. And the night after my brother died, she stayed on the phone with me until two in the morning. There is nothing more I want than to have a really close girl friend. I miss Celina, Alex and Dina soooooo much…..I wonder if I will ever meet someone like them.

Once upon a time, it happened to me

Gawd…I’ve never felt so hassled in ages. I know you guys are probably sick of hearing me whine about the shitload of work that they gave me over the weekend. But gimme a break, this has never happened to me before. Unit tests for all my subjects in two days?! They’re fucking insane. Not only that, but we’ve got four exams on Wednesday, three on Thursday and two on Friday. At least I’m done with all my projects. But it’s really unfair that they piled up all our tests in just two days. What do they think we are, geniuses? I wish!

I really, really need a lot of prayers right now….

The only thing that’s motivating me to go on are my weekend plans (that is, if I have enough money for them…). I’m meeting up with Tonic on Friday night and on Saturday night, I’ll have my “spaghetti strap” gimmick with my barkada. See, we made a bet: we have to wear either spaghetti strapped tops or tube tops during our gimmick and if you don’t, you get to pay for lunch and the movies. My barkada isn’t the type who giggles about boys and obsesses over their figures, so it’ll be amusing to see them act girly in spaghetti-strapped tops. Especially Glyka, who is sort of a tomboy. Hee hee hee, snicker, snicker.

Kisses spread germ and germs are hated so kiss me baby, I’m vaccinated

My hand hurrrrrts like hell. I just finished my Values Ed. project, which has to be written in a small notebook. I’m supposed to write about the people in my life and how much they mean to me, diary-style. And I kept ripping pages off my notebook cos I kept having so many mistakes so by the time I was done, my notebook became twice as thin. I hope I get a good grade for it; it took me the entire goddamn afternoon and early evening to do it. But it also made me realize that I owe so much to all the people in my life cos without them, life wouldn’t be worth living. Everyone, in some way or another, has touched me and I feel so…well, flattered. Sometimes it even makes me feel sad. It’s like, what have I done to deserve to be loved so much? Nothing.

Subjects I have unit tests on for Monday: English, Biology, Health and Filipino. I swear, they are overworking us to death! I don’t mind studying, I really don’t, but did they really have to put all the tests on the same day? Not to mention the other projects I need to do…..ugh!

I’m finally going to start my swimming lessons next Saturday afternoon! I’m really excited about it. Dina’s going to join me so it’ll be really fun. And maybe–just maybe–there might be a cute guy or something. In a Speedo. I’m gonna have to leave my Saturday afternoon gimmick early though, but I’m sure my friends would understand.

Oh yeah……Casey and I talked today! Happy, happy, joy, joy….he told me he ran into Jessie in the mall and stuff, and that his parents gave him a new car, which is really cool, but the most important thing is that he’s all right. And he updated me of his life.

Think positive. At long last, sem break will be finally here.