Blessed are the losers, for they determine the winners

I’m sooooo pissed! I spent the better part of my afternoon printing out the walkthrough of Disc 1 of Final Fantasy VIII. And just as I was getting ready to play it, I realized that my FF8 game wasn’t there! At first I thought I had lent it to Chris, but I talked to him awhile ago and he said he didn’t borrow my FF8. I wouldn’t lend my games to anyone other than him and I searched all the possible places it could be in. What the hell am I going to do all sem break?! I could buy another game…but I hardly have two hundred bucks in my wallet and I need that cos I’m going out tomorrow night.

I wish I came to school later today, like around nine or something, cos the high school program didn’t start until ten. I endured two, painful hours of grade-school kids performing the lives of saints and kindergarten kids parading around in costumes. And then I fell asleep and woke up an hour later with this big-ass stiff neck. Our dance was okay. We were really good until around the middle, cos most of us had no idea that the steps have been changed. But even though I didn’t really know what I was doing, on account that I haven’t attended practice and all, I really had a lot of fun up in the stage. I didn’t stick around long enough to hear who the winners were, though, but I’m betting my money on the seniors–all the judges are so biased and no matter what anyone else does, the seniors always win. I don’t even know why we bother to compete–they say it’s so that our talents could be enhanced or whatever. But if they really wanted us to make use of our potentials, they would install a swimming pool, a tennis court and have a wall-climbing thingie installed in the gym. Or maybe organize a cheerleading team, a drama club and a glee club….you know, real extracurricular activities, not just competitions where nobody except the seniors win.

I’m listening to Pieces of You right now, which I haven’t done in ages. Each song reminds me about how much I love _….I miss him so much!

And you’re my obsession and I love you to the bones

I’m feeling tired but happy now. I can’t believe that my exams are almost over! All I have for tomorrow is Math and Values. I’m finally done with my math right now and nobody studies for Values anyway cos it’s all common sense. So I’m like, freeeeeee.

My current favorite song is Ana’s Song by Silverchair, cos I can relate to the lyrics a lot.

I’m convinced that the Dean of Discipline hates my living guts, and will do anything in her power to see me expelled. I brought my camera to school cos I had like, more than ten shots left. And I really needed to have the film developed today because the pictures of the pyramid we did for PE are in there, and they’re due tomorrow. So me and my friends were just clicking away in the hallway during recess time when out of nowhere, I heard a familiar voice said, “Give me that camera.” My blood froze because that voice belonged to no other than my favorite person in school, the Dean of Discipline. I whirled around and sure enough, there she was, standing there with her arms crossed, a disapproving look on her face.

Dyancel was holding my camera at that time and tried to give it to me by placing it in a bag. But the Dean of Discipline saw it and said, “I see a camera. Give it to me.” I damn near felt like crying at that point because my groupmates in PE would absolutely kill me if anything happened to the pictures. But I had no choice so I handed over my camera and explained in my nicest voice that I really needed to finish the film for my PE project. God, I was shaking all over and had a hard time keeping my voice steady. But despite all my arguments, all she told me was that because I brought my camera to school, I was causing other people to make noise. Some girls were trying to get in the pictures, which is probably what she meant, but what’s so bad about taking pictures during recess time? “Get it from me after your exams today,” she added before walking away.

I started freaking out after that. I was ranting for like, ten minutes and said every single possible cussword in the English and Tagalog dictionary without pausing to catch my breath. I was sooooo pissed! If I had been taking pictures during the exam, I wouldn’t mind turning my camera over. But it was during recess and during recess, you’re free to be noisy and do whatever you goddamn want. She hates me, I swear to God she does. I mean, why else would she confiscate my camera for no good reason?

When I went to claim my camera from her after the exams, she was like, “Make a letter before I give it to you.” I started freaking out a bit again. I thought she meant letter from my parents. Jesus Christ, you think I had brought an atomic bomb to school or something! But all I had to do was write a letter saying why I brought a camera to school before she gives it back to me. What the heck is wrong with bringing a camera to school anyway? It’s not like I’m going to be taking pictures of the exam papers or something! And even if I did, that wouldn’t do me any good because the exams are over anyway. Ugh, she makes me so mad! If it’s not about my hair, it’s about my hematite necklace, and if it’s not about my hematite necklace, it’s about my shoes, and if it’s not about my shoes, it’s about my cell phone and if it’s not about my cell phone, it’s about my camera. What next?! What other violation could I possibly commit? I feel like I’ve disobeyed every single fricking rule in the book! Of course I didn’t, but the way she looks at me makes me feel like I did. My friends tell me that she always gives me a really mean look whenever I pass her in the hall. Jesumaria. The only thing that’s missing is that she ships me off to jail.

In less than 24 hours……I’ll be free from all sorts of schoolwork! :)

I’ll give you my body, just sell me your soul

I’ve been listening to Hole and Silverchair ever since I got home–Celebrity Skin is and will always be my favorite CD. So…..my first day of exams….I hardly studied for CLE but was able to answer everything anyway, which is really good. Filipino was a piece of cake, but the questions in Asian Studies were absolutely inhuman. Especially the essay questions. Ugh, I think it’s because Filipino was practically the only exam I studied for. I did something really stupid yesterday. It wasn’t anything embarassing, but I feel stupid everytime I remember yesterday. It was around five-fifteen and I was going to start reviewing for my exams for tomorrow. I thought that I should get a head start on my Filipino vocabulary words, so I went to get my Filipino textbook which is placed on a bookshelf with all the other school books I brought home. To my surprise, it wasn’t there, although I could’ve sworn I brought it home with me on Monday. Not to worry, it was probably in my backpack because I had brought home the last of my things. Well, guess what? It wasn’t there either! After rechecking my bookshelf and strewing the contents of my backpack all over my room, I realized that I must’ve forgotten my Filipino book in my locker. Which is a downright stupid thing to do because Filipino is my weakest subject and without a book, I might as well put a big, red 70 on my report card myself.

My mom got a bit mad when I told her that I had to go back to school for my Filipino book, but at least she didn’t scream at me or ground me or anything, which was the reaction I had been expecting. We couldn’t use the car that was in the garage because of the stupid carless rule and the other car was with my dad at the office. So I had to wait like, half an hour for the car and the driver to arrive home. I tried to read my Asian Studies book, but all I could think of were nuns with red eyes and the janitor that supposedly committed suicide in my school. My school–like most Catholic, all-girls schools–is super duper haunted, especially in the auditorium because several of my friends who joined the school play last year reported seeing ladies in white and whatnot floating around the seats. My locker, thankfully, is located in the gym which is near the school’s entrance, but the idea of creeping around my school in the dark did not exactly bring me tears of joy.

I had to wheedle, whine and plead to the security guards because they just had to let me in and get my book. Finally, one of the guards decided to escort me inside (as if I would plant an atomic bomb or something–hah) and I quickly rushed to my locker. So far so good, I thought. And then we reached the gym. It was a perfect horror-movie setting; pitch-black with the loud rain, thunder and occassionally, lightning in the background. I kept expecting ghosts to materialize in front of me; however, nothing exciting like that happened. Nothing exciting ever happens to me. Anyway, I found the light switch and ran like hell to my locker. I damn near felt like crying when I didn’t see my Filipino book anywhere. I was sooo dead, but I also had another idea. Since Angela lives like, ten steps away from school, I thought I’d go over her place and copy the vocabulary words, at least. I wouldn’t exactly get a high grade on the test, but at least I wouldn’t fail it. So I went to her place and waited downstairs for what seemed like ages because Angela was on the phone or something. She sounded real grouchy when the helper called her but when she saw me, her face lit up and she was like, “Hiiiiii!!! What a surprise….come on upstairs.” So I followed her and as we made our way to the computer, I told her about my dilemma. And she smiled and told me that she had left her Filipino book in school before the exam during freshman year. I told her that all Filipino books must be cursed. So she dictated the vocabulary words to me while I typed them on her computer, which took me like fifteen minutes. And when I was done, she hugged me and told me to drop by anytime I need her help again.

I found it impossible to believe that my book was missing because I clearly remember bringing it home with me one day. So when I got home, I searched the house furtively and found the goddamn book on my brother’s bed, underneathe my sister’s huge backpack (my backpack, I might add). And I felt so stupid, going all the way to school despite the heavy rain, not realizing that my book was here all along.

I’m really really excited about the weekend! I have a practical test for PE to do on Friday and after that, I’ll be at Cox’s> house until 5 or so. And after that, I’ll be going to the mall with Tonic.